Hannah B

Joined September 2018

72 stories

Bio

Mom, self proclaimed funny girl, and publicly proclaimed "piece of work".

Lover and writer of fiction and non-fiction alike and hoping you enjoy my attempts at writing either.

Achievements (3)

Stories (72)

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Just Look Up.
For over a decade, I've had a seemingly uncharacteristic passion for war history and remembrance, especially during the Remembrance Day/Veterans Day season. You wouldn't exactly think a foul-mouthed, opinionated, and sometimes downright difficult woman would be one for so passionately and seriously observing respect and silence for past and present military personnel, and yet here we are. In large part, this passion is due to growing up in the strange little rural Alberta town I grew up in; home to the world's largest horse and rider statue, sports teams appropriately all called "The Broncs", some redneck overt racism, and a teacher with the most passion for respect for our troops I think I've ever met, Mr. Labrie.
By Hannah B5 years ago in Serve
Evil in the First Grade
My entry into the school system was the rosy, sunshine-y song every Kindergartener hopes for after watching a few too many episodes of Barney and The Wiggles. Thanks to our country's failure at providing enough affordable childcare for working humans trying to put food on the table, I spent two years before Kindergarten in preschool; this ended up being not only the coolest two years I spent in the school system but a complete blessing because I was SO ready to walk in and flex my play skills with my teacher Barbie lunch kit in hand. I knew how to make friends, how to sing repeat-after-me songs, and even how to share the water table if I felt like it. I didn't even wave goodbye to my mom, which I've now made up for by waving goodbye to her and yelling that I love her every chance I get. She prefers I do not do it when departing a public washroom, but we all have our little quirks, don't we?
By Hannah B5 years ago in Education
Momming ain't easy
*TW: talk of pregnancy, motherhood* "They don't come with a manual". I mean, at this point, after literally thousands and thousands of years of people growing and raising babies, you think we might have some sort of easy-to-follow plan on how not to screw up a human child, no? Or at the very least how not to lose your mind while trying not to screw up said child? I think we could maybe all sit down and try to do that?
By Hannah B5 years ago in Families
I Don't Sports.
I wouldn't call myself a laid back person, nor would many people in my life. I'm fairly passionate about my interests, about standing up for what's right, about being nice to animals, and about what foods can be called a sandwich. I'm fairly excitable, really. This all sounds like exactly what a really dull person trying to convince someone they aren't dull would say. I didn't even use any exclamation points. I promise you, I'm not boring! I am just trying to give you some useful background info before I say what I say. Just know that in terms of getting excited or caring about things, I am normal.
By Hannah B5 years ago in Unbalanced
Ghost Photo Shoot: The Greatest Fall Trend Yet.. Top Story - October 2020.
If you don't love fall, Halloween, or both, I am guessing you're dead inside and we would never be friends, so you can actually get lost. Unless you enjoy reading articles written by people that don't like you... which I sort of respect in a weird way, so I guess you can stay. You don't need my approval. You go, girl*
By Hannah B5 years ago in Photography
Investing some time... and time is money... so investing some money.
I'm not bad with money. I seem to have enough to live at all times, and I have a bit put away for emergencies. I've started a saving account for my son so he can have some money when he heads out into the world. I pay off my credit card every month and only spend too much money on cute denim jackets when I can think of a good excuse to: like someone at work annoying me that day, or it being the anniversary month of the first time I texted my husband or something like that.
By Hannah B5 years ago in Trader
The First Shift
She approaches the counter timidly as if she were a customer, but I know she isn't here to eat a Monte Cristo and drink burnt coffee at midnight. My regular waitress Dalene sings out to her, "you're the new girl?" The girl's gaze darts immediately to me as if I was the one speaking. She realizes who she should be looking at, but her eyes linger as her face turns away, before finally landing on Dalene.
By Hannah B5 years ago in Horror
Thelma and Louise: A lesson in girl power.. Top Story - July 2020.
I don't think I should have to warn about spoilers from one of the most iconic movies in history, especially one that is almost 20 years old, but I will anyway: if you haven't seen Thelma and Louise, you should first go watch it immediately, but second, keep in mind this article does contain spoilers.
By Hannah B5 years ago in Viva
World's Worst Stoner
I have tried so many times to have a good time using cannabis and it just doesn't work. "You probably had too much" "You just weren't with the right people, I bet."
By Hannah B5 years ago in Potent
Taking the Time
Everyone tells you to remember to stop and smell the flowers. "Enjoy the little things." I was sure to take time to stop and smell the flowers.
By Hannah B5 years ago in Poets
Fraudulent Fruit.
Let's set a couple ground rules for this one, okay? First of all, I want anyone reading this to know I respect every person's right to their own fruit preferences. This story is not about a particular fruit system being good or bad or otherwise. It's just about me being an asshole and pretending to be a part of a certain family of fruit to get a sweet job. SO, let's all remember-- say it with me-- I tell this story with all due respect.
By Hannah B6 years ago in Journal
Blueberry Bourbon Sour
I'm really not much of a drinker-- I got all the partying and fun out of the way between the ages of 17 and 21. By "partying" I mean I drank enough to have lasted an entire lifetime, and by "fun" I mean mostly not at all fun times, a lot of being hit on by creeps, forgetting a lot of details of my evenings, and a lot of throwing up. So you may already be thinking I have no business telling you how to make a delicious cocktail but I guess that's your business. So let's both just mind our own, shall we?
By Hannah B6 years ago in Proof

Hannah B

Bio

Achievements .css-1svwz57-Text{display:inline-block;color:var(--text-default-mute);}(3)

Stories (72)

Filter by community

Just Look Up.

Evil in the First Grade

Momming ain't easy

I Don't Sports.

Ghost Photo Shoot: The Greatest Fall Trend Yet.. Top Story - October 2020.

Investing some time... and time is money... so investing some money.

The First Shift

Thelma and Louise: A lesson in girl power.. Top Story - July 2020.

World's Worst Stoner

Taking the Time

Fraudulent Fruit.

Blueberry Bourbon Sour

Achievements (3)