Everyday Junglist
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About me. You know how everyone says to be a successful writer you should focus in one or two areas. I continue to prove them correct.
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Cats at Their Most Standard, Humans at Their Least
If you could not locate a particular white, bespeckled, grey haired, woman of a certain age for most of the day last Saturday near Lawrenceberg Indiana and the surrounding tri-state area I think I know where she must have been. I can report with near certainty that she was among the roughly 150 or so of them who showed up at the Region 6 Cat Fanciers Association (CFA) cat show with me, 100 or so other spectators, about 86 purebred cats of all breeds, and around 10–15 plain old house cats.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Petlife
But I Don't Want To Submit My Stories To a Community
So many things about Vocal puzzle, irritate, annoy, and/or enrage me, and I have not been shy about calling the site caretakers out for it. This post will be no exception to that proud tradition with yet another screed about what seems to be a well intentioned and maybe even good idea, but one that is so poorly executed it cancels all the potential and actual positives out in one fell swoop. The idea of communities (or publications as they are called on Medium, Vocal's aspirational big brother site from which almost everything about the look, feel, and logistics of publishing here has been copied) seems to make sense. Group writings on similar topics and perhaps with similar styles into certain specific communities and it will be easier for readers to find stories they will be interested in reading and avoid "wasting their time" browsing through hundreds of stories they could care less about. Almost immediately we can sense a major flaw in this line of thinking. Do people really know what they want to be reading about and should they not be exposed to other topics and styles even if they think they do?
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Journal
Vocal Writing Challenges
About this challenge Welcome to Vocal's Summer Fiction Series Let's Be Honest Edition! This series is comprised of eight short fiction Challenges ranging in length from one week to eight weeks long. If you know why the word "Challenges" was capitalized in the previous sentence, you definitely should enter. If not, congratulations you are like 99.9% of the writers on this site, and 99.99% of the general population. Bonus points if you know why we wrote out "from one week to eight weeks long" instead of just saying "from one to eight weeks long" like most writing schmucks without a degree in English from an accredited 4 year college would. Each prompt is inspired by a different book from a traditional (upper middle class white suburban) summer reading list (but not summer school, only dummies or troublemakers had to go to summer school), full of the classics (yawn) that so many of us (who work as part of the editorial and/or reviewing/censorship staff here at Vocal.media) read and reread throughout childhood and adolescence to prepare for the school year ahead, or to makeup for the fact that we did not read them during the previous school year when they were actually assigned. We'll start with childhood classics like Matilda and Charlotte's Web, and work our way up through those (upper middle class white suburban) high school staples like Catcher in the Rye and The Bluest Eye. It’s a little nostalgia, a whole lot of creativity, and a crap ton of shitty writing.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Journal
The Microbes are In Control
“Let me make sure I understand you clearly Professor Jones, you believe your microflora told you to kill Dr. Doyle?” The prosecutor leaned in close as he spoke, then turned toward the jury and raised a skeptical eyebrow. The gesture was intended to convey a message of incredulity to the nine jurors who listened in disbelief. “Yes. Not told me but made me”, replied the distinguished looking gentlemen seated on the witness stand. He wore a simple black suit and had a shock of grey hair that sprouted wildly from his round wrinkled forehead. Many had commented that he looked a bit like Albert Einstein in his later years. In truth the comparison flattered him though his interest in physics had only been at the level of laymen. Microbiology was his passion and had been for the past 30 years. The prosecutor continued. “So the bacteria in your body forced you to commit cold-blooded murder?” Dr. Jones replied quickly, speaking in a soft southern drawl, clearly an erudite, and with the authority of a man used to having his opinions respected. “It may not have been just the bacteria. The viruses and bacteriophage may have also been involved but I do think yes, it was primarily the bacteria in control.” “Sorry professor can you please clarify for the jury, what exactly are bacteriophage?” The professor responded with some measure of arrogance in his voice, “to put it simply for you and the jury they are viruses that infect bacteria instead of higher life forms like plants or animals or humans.” “Thank you professor. Can you please explain to the jury how exactly these evil germs were able to do this.” “I am not entirely certain” Dr. Jones replied quickly, the irritation plainly evident in his voice. “I would ask that you please kindly refrain from using the terminology, germs, I and my microbes find it highly insulting. I greatly prefer microbe or microorganism. Animalcule was also once a favored term though it is much out of style in this day and age. That would be acceptable as well.” The professor continued, his volume slowly rising as he gained confidence. This was clearly an issue to which he had given much thought. “You need to understand that the microbes in and on all of our bodies are numerically superior to the total number of cells that make up our bodies. It is estimated they may outnumber us by as much as an order of magnitude. One order of magnitude means they are present at ten times the number of human cells. We are in fact more microbe than man. To me it is not surprising that given this advantage in numbers they might not at some point attempt to take control. “ The prosecutor cut him off before he could continue. “And what was the motive for these animalcules to make you kill Dr. Doyle?” “I believe it was self-preservation. You see my colleague was on the verge of a great discovery, an entirely new class of antibiotics. If he had succeeded it could have revolutionized the control of many diseases and theoretically eliminated the issue of antibiotic resistance forever. Obviously they were concerned for their continued existence.” Professor Jones smiled smugly and became silent. The prosecutor stared for a moment at the witness, unable to speak. He was obviously stunned by the straightforward and almost scholarly tone of the answer. The insane words coming out of the professor’s mouth just did not match with the way those words were delivered. The jury seemed shaken as well. Mouths hung slightly agape and fear was evident in many of the juror’s eyes. The courtroom was deathly silent. The prosecutor slowly gathered himself and pressed on. “I am a bit confused Dr. Jones, why would not Dr. Doyle’s microbes, or his graduate students’ microbes, have acted before yours? They surely were every bit as aware of his research program.” “A question I have considered myself. I don’t have the answer. Perhaps much like people there are different personalities among our microbes. Some are simply not capable of committing an evil act such as murder where others are. Certainly all the data suggests large variations in the makeup of any one individual’s microflora. Given the variety between people, and also the diversity of the microbial population within each it might not be unexpected that they act and react with their host in many different ways. It is no doubt difficult to achieve any sort of consensus on action among the various genera and species on any given person at any one time. That might also explain the rarity if this type of event. It just is almost never possible to reach agreement on anything and therefore nothing of any consequence is done.” The professor looked genuinely pleased with himself as he considered this possibility, than continued on. “I would very much like to study this in some detail when this is over and I get back to university.” The prosecutor looked shocked. “Im afraid you wont be returning to University anytime soon Dr. Jones. You have essentially admitted to murder and given the jury no choice but to convict you. Your so-called explanation is clearly insane. No further questions.” The prosecutor returned to his seat with one last glance at the jury. He could see in their eyes they would convict. The good professor could quite possibly face the electric chair. He looked briefly at the professor as he was escorted from the witness stand. Disturbingly he thought he saw the traces of a smile on his lips. After a brief recess to consider its verdict, the jury returned. The prosecutor projected an air of supreme confidence as the jury seated itself. He followed the progress of the foremen most closely as he returned to his seat. Often, he had found, he could predict the outcome in any given case by close inspection of how the foremen behaved as he returned to the box. A quick moving foremen who sat down before the rest of the jurors meant conviction 95% of the time. When the foremen moved more slowly and allowed the rest of the jury or most of the rest of the jury to sit before he did this often suggested acquittal, though the percentages were less certain. Therefore, he was only slightly concerned when the foreman stood until the entire rest of the jury had taken their seats. He grew a bit more concerned as he closely inspected the faces of each of the jurors. They had taken on a strangely blank look. Their eyes looked almost lifeless. No trace of emotion was visible. “We the jury find the defendant..” The foremen paused for a moment before proceeding. He seemed to be struggling against himself. When he continued it looked as if the words were forced, maybe not even his own, “not guilty.” There was an audible gasp in the courtroom as the shock of the verdict reverberated among those in attendance. Dr. Jones was not surprised in the least. He had been told about this outcome by his friends. They had made a deal with some of their friends. It was the least they could do for what he had done for them.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Fiction
Machine Learning is Our Only Hope
https://medium.com/neodotlife/computational-psychiatry-c05a32f20705 Directors Cut And so like Obi-Wan Kenobi before him the great Jedi Machine Learning (direct descendant of the greatest of all Jedi, Artificial Intelligence) was hailed as the only one who could save the princess and ourselves from tyranny and oppression at the hands of the evil, human psychiatrists with many years of medical school training, clinical experience, and actual (not made up) intelligence. led by the terrifying Sith Lord Darth Prescriptius Maximus. Unfortunately for the legendary Jedi the fact that he was a logical contradiction and logically impossible made it difficult for him to exist let alone save anyone. Luckily Konrad Kording had a backup, Padawan Dell 5720 All-in-One. Although Padawan Dell 5720 was also incapable of learning and in no way intelligent like his non-existent Jedi master, he did in fact exist and was a fast enough computer to run the software package that analyzed the data from the studies. And so using ancient but tried and true methods of computing handed down from at least 15 years ago, the exact same lessons were learned and conclusions drawn without need for the great but fictional Jedi master Machine Learning. In an unfortunate twist of fate the conclusions turned out to be way off base thus heralding the return to power of the dreaded human psychiatrists led by Darth Maximus and their legions of well educated, well informed, generally effective if somewhat too quick to reach for the prescription pad, shock troops. Jedi Machine Learning has returned to his home planet of Sil-Val to retrieve the one weapon of power that may allow him to turn the tide of war back to the good side, the long rumored Artificial Neural Network. No doubt once armed with this powerful computational model based on (what we think we understand about) the structure and functions of biological neural networks and the human brain, Jedi Learning will be able to banish the humans from their places of authority and power forever, restoring peace, justice, and balance to the universe.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Futurism
An AI Takes an IQ Test
If you wanted to measure something, but you could not define what that thing was, or how it worked, or what it did, what would you do? What if you “knew” the thing you were measuring existed, were absolutely sure of it, and completely believed that it was something very important? Moreover, all of your friends and family and every other person in the world thought the same way. They all truly believed this undefinable thing really existed and that it was something very, very important. How exactly would you measure it?
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Futurism
Artificial Neural Networks Are Not Modeled On the Structure/Function of the Human Brain
When someone has built something which was modeled on something else I think most people assume the something else that is being used as a model is well understood and well characterized. ANN’s are often pitched as being “modeled on the human brain” but only rarely as a “model of the human brain.” Neither is accurate though in my judgement the first is a larger offense against the accepted definitions of the word model (at least as it is defined for the biological sciences). These two main uses/definitions of the word model are 1. A representation of something, often idealised or modified to make it conceptually easier to understand, and 2. Something to be imitated. Clearly the way ANN’s are described is not as a representation of the human brain as a way of making it (the human brain) easier to understand. They are almost always sold as ‘imitations’ of the human brain. Specifically imitations of some of the functions of the human brain. Substitutes for the human brain or some functions of the human brain to put it another way. That they are poor substitutes is a topic for another post, but my quibble in this discussion is with the very idea of ‘imitation’ as it relates to the structure/functions of the human brain. It brings me right back to where I began, which is that in order to imitate something (to model it), one must know what the thing is one is imitating (modeling). I cannot imitate an ape if I have never seen an ape and do not know how it looks and acts. I can attempt to imitate it, but I will never even know if I have been successful in my attempts as I have no fixed reference against which to judge the accuracy of my imitation. In the case of ANN/brains it is not that no one has ever seen a brain, nor that we do not (sort of) know what it does, rather it is that the specific mechanisms and structures of the brain and how they relate to function are only theoretical. You can ‘model’ something on a theoretical system as much as you like, but the accuracy of your model as it relates to the actual thing can never be assessed. Therefore you are not justified in making any claims as to the performance of that thing as it relates to the performance of the actual thing.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Futurism
Moroccan Hollywood Awaits Biggest Production Yet with Filming of the Musical Jason and the Arganauts Set to Begin Soon
The city of Ouarzazate or Warzazat, nicknamed The door of the desert, is abuzz with activity as filming of the Moroccan movie musical Jason and the Arganauts will begin any day now. Warzazat is no stranger to Hollywood style productions as the Ouarzazate area is a noted film-making location with Morocco’s biggest studios inviting many international companies to work here. Films such as Lawrence of Arabia (1962), The Man Who Would Be King (1975), The Last Temptation of Christ (1988), The Mummy (1999), Gladiator (2000), Kingdom of Heaven (2005), Hanna (2011), were all shot on location in Warzazat, as was part of the TV series Game of Thrones.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Beat
