Everyday Junglist
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About me. You know how everyone says to be a successful writer you should focus in one or two areas. I continue to prove them correct.
Stories (709)
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Can We Stop Writing Articles with Titles That are Questions Now Please?
From: Is Activated Charcoal Messing with Your Medications? The writing article titles in the form of a question fad has followed a predictable trajectory. It started as an innocent though tired and cliched way to try and make listicles stand out from the crowd. Then came the juices, supplements, and claims that writing article titles in the form of a question detoxifies your body and makes your writing better.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Journal
Science, Technology, and Magic
As a practicing Mage of the natural sciences I am afraid I must object to the contention that scientists and especially technologists could or should be at all likened to modern day mages. I freely admit that many scientists would appreciate the sentiment. Their egos sufficiently stroked they would nod contentedly and respond “finally, someone appreciates us, gets what we do, we are not nerds, you may have mocked us mercilessly at one time, but lo, see what we have become, modern day practitioners of magic, the mages of our modern world.”
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Futurism
Always Remember That You Almost Certainly Have Average Writing Talent at Best
Don't feel bad, so do the vast majority of other writers. The fact that most people fall into a given category is what makes it an average. Plenty of average, and even a few downright bad writers have had long, successful, and personally satisfying careers in writing. Likewise plenty of superstar talents get discouraged and quit before ever getting the chance to make a try at a career in writing. In writing, like with most things in life, luck, determination, and hard work (in that order with hard work falling into a far, far distant third) play much larger roles than talent when it comes to success. Don’t ever forget that personal satisfaction, joy, and happiness in writing all come completely from within, and are freely available for any writer, even those who have no professional success to speak of. Of course, that is easy for me to say and none of those things pay for little Johnnie's pair of dress pants needed for his first day at Catholic school. It helps to always remember the four laws of talent and success.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Journal
I Have a Friend
I know this guy, I won’t give his name for the sake of anonymity but suffice to say I know him very well. He has always been a good friend, honest and trustworthy, and lives what appears to be a very normal life. One day we got to talking and for some reason I can’t remember the topic of psychic powers came up. I laughed and dismissed any and all such claims as bogus and assumed my friend would do the same, but he did not. In fact, to my great surprise, he got real still, looked me in the eyes and said, “Dan, I’m a believer, people can and do have psychic abilities, and I happen to be one of them.” Immediately I began to chuckle thinking he was playing some sort of joke on me, but after a few seconds, when he did not join in, I awkwardly coughed, apologized, and asked him to explain. “OK, buddy, I’m intrigued, tell me exactly what this so called psychic power of yours is, and of course I am then going to need to see a demonstration.” He gathered himself for a moment and I could tell he was thinking deeply, trying to determine the best way to explain himself. After a few moments of silence he began.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Fiction
Censorship as Protection
Thank you Vocal.media for keeping safety top of mind for all your content creators and vast and growing readership! Truly, you are a great friend of the people and so very wise and benevolent. As a creator myself, I count myself lucky to have my stories censored by you. There can be little doubt that many of the stories you rejected for objectionable graphic or religious content, would have have resulted in some very unsafe outcomes, had they been published in their original, highly unsafe form. I can barely imagine the horrors that may have unfolded if the brave censorship boards at Vocal had not caught my unsafe writings before they were recklessly published on the internet for anyone to see and use for whatever unsafe and no doubt nefarious purposes they might.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Journal
Life’s Stupid Mysteries
Has a question ever occurred to you that is totally stupid? I mean really, really dumb. A question so inconsequential and meaningless that it is barely worth the effort to ask, yet alone take the time to find an answer. A question so ridiculous that it may have occurred to at most ten people in the entire history of the world. Welcome to life’s stupid mysteries (LSM) a new series in which I ask, and sometimes bother to try and answer, depending on how lazy I am feeling, questions no one else is asking and no one else cares about.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Feast
It’s Not Enough to Be Right
There is a story about Jeff Bezos from when he was a young boy. He was with his grandparents, both of whom were smokers. Bezos had recently heard an anti-smoking PSA on the radio that explained how many minutes each cigarette takes off a person’s lifespan. And so, sitting there in the backseat, like a typical precocious kid, mega nerd, and giant lamer, he put his math skills and this new knowledge to work and proudly explained to his grandmother, as she puffed away, “You’ve lost nine years of your life, Grandma!”
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Journal
A Career Writing Objective Met
When I first began publishing on Vocal.media a little over four months ago I had two objectives. First, to convince the site's owners and caretakers of the grave error they had committed in the creation and implementation of their censorship policies, and to help turn them away from that dark path. Second, to someday be featured in the below the fold section "Creator's Were Loving" on the site's homepage. I am quite proud today and more than a little touched to publicly announce that I have met that second objective as you can see from the image above.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Motivation
Dear Subscribers
Dear Subscribers, Hello superfans, Danimals, Danamaniacs, and assorted ne'er do wells. My subscriber count has been increasing at a rapid rate since I first began publishing on Vocal.media nearly 4 months ago. The sizzling pace of almost 1 subscriber every fifteen days has resulted in massive growth from zero subscribers in June of this year to a full octet of eight subscribers today. Amazingly, at least two of you must be complete strangers as I do not have more than six friends, acquaintances, or relatives who do not find my non technical writings, weird, stupid, confusing, not funny, scary, gross, disturbing and/or boring and thus avoid them at all costs. Now that my subscriber count has reached octomom levels (thanks to each of you) I felt it would be a good time for me to reach out personally and say thank you. As I pondered what I might do to show my appreciation to my rabid fan base that would satiate their unquenchable desire for all things everyday junglist I hit upon the idea of this newsletter. After all, you obviously love my writing so what better reward could I bestow upon each of you than to prepare an original article specifically addressed to you written in my patented intelligent, yet nonsensical style in the voice of an ego driven blowhard, but with the eyes of an angel, and a rare talent for run on sentences. As usual my idea was a fantastic one, but as soon as I sat down to write I found I could not focus on the task at hand. My mind was simply too preoccupied. Like each of you no doubt, I have not been able to stop thinking about the endangered bird the Mccaw after Vocal published their latest and most groundbreaking, creating, and innovative writing challenge yet, featuring that aforementioned feathered friend of friends. Two classic run ons back to back, both with serious grammatical and punctuation problems, I am on fire tonight!
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Confessions
Despite Not Having Found a Mate, Local Man’s* Soul Fairly Well Satisfied with Life
Local man (not to be confused with ‘area man’, a licensed, copyrighted, and trademarked term of the The Onion and theonion.com) Eric Feeter’s soul was said to be fairly well satisfied with how things were going in general despite 30+ years of not having found a mate. Even though many souls are said to require a mate to achieve happiness Eris’s reportedly made peace with it’s own situation many years ago. Instead of finding joy and life satisfaction through a mate, Eric’s soul has obtained a similar level of fulfillment through a passion for collecting comic books and paraphernalia related to the 1980s television series CHiPS featuring Erik Estrada as officer Frank Pancherello.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Fiction
Writing Challenge
Author's Preface: You know I love you Vocal.media. I kid because I love. Because I love to make you face up to the terrible example you have set for all writers and lovers of free expression with your awful censorship policies. And because I love to point out how your publishing "rules" are ridiculous and absurd, and how your writing challenges are totally bereft of creativity or originality. But also because I love. lol!
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Journal
