DeMeya Perry

Motherhood

What does it mean to be a mother? Is it the endless nights spent catering to your kid(s)? Is it the cuddles and giggles that you get in gratitude to the love you give. Is it waking up with both your boobs outside of your tank top as if a ghost carefully moves them every. single. night. Let’s be honest here, motherhood is like you made your very own masterpiece but despise the mess you made in the process. The crying. The sore body. The tired mind. Did I mention the crying? It’s as if they want you to explode. You try to keep your inpatient side tucked away, but then night time hits. Suddenly your a waterfall at the first sign of your child not wanting to be in bed. My 7 month old daughter is currently going through mental leap 6 early (whoopefriggndoo). I have never longed for sleep as much as I do at this very moment it’s 4:18 am and I’ve put her to bed four times. I have no bit of tiredness left in me. That’s how tired I am. My brain is in craving coffee mode. I love her very much. She’s my only child. Co-sleeping has worked great for us, but I need my bed back. So here I am telling a bunch of strangers that as much as I love my daughter…WHEN WILL IT END?! Will I ever know peace again or am I doomed for the next 10 years or so to a child that wants me at every moment of every day. I love the bc snuggling, the calling for me, and the nursing. What I don’t love is the screaming when I don’t pay her enough attention, crying ( and again screaming) because she needs to go to sleep, and most importantly MENTAL LEAP HELL. I miss the days where I could give her a pacifier and we both go to sleep. These days I am her pacifier thanks to relatives snatching hers out of her mouth. Don’t even get me started on that. Most nights she won’t sleep without a boob in her mouth. I could go on and on about all the ways motherhood has screwed me over, but instead I’ll tell you how it’s made me a better woman.