Crystal Gordon

A Life Alone

It’s an interesting feeling when you’re in a crowd and feel alone but it’s even more frustrating when you’re in a family and feel alone. I am one of six and while I always had an amazing relationship with my mother, I was never able to connect with my siblings or dad the way they connected with each other. As a teen this haunted me and I would ask what I found a great number of kids ask their parents “am I adopted?” This would usually lead to laughter and a reminder that I looked way too much like my mom to in fact be adopted. As I grew older I was never able to shake this feeling that I was just different. So I collected that because we had parents who allowed us to explore our own desired paths in life that it made this feeling more prominate. I have a sister who enjoys the arts of food, a sister who is a genius with numbers, one brother was great with cars while the other wanted to explore ministry and the oldest brother took to ranching and construction. I’m the creative one in the family, the musically inclined, the inquisitive one. But the character trait that separated me the most was that I research what I’m told, I don’t like taking things at face value, I run towards conflict in hopes to make a change, I enjoy reading books and writing. These things made me “odd” and different but then I was always quickly reminded that different was “a good thing” I learned to except what was and grew accustomed to the idea that I was just different and I shouldn’t put much thought into it.