Cristi Lavin
Stories (4)
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My dear soul mate
I never had you, I didn't even know you, you were more like a vampire that I desperately wanted to invite to the beach along with me, but he never came, so every time I was faced with the small inconvenience of having no one to ask to rub my back with sunscreen lotion, just that, maybe a tear beside it, but nothing that would have ruined my vacation, anyway, my vacations became more and more boring and at some point I didn't even take the opportunity to go somewhere and have fun, I stayed at home, I was prisoner of a loneliness, that I hadn't caused, you were the culprit, and because you preferred to remain a ghost, my whole life became a shadow, yes, I began to fear the sun, every ray of light, I'd have preferred you to bite me like Dracula, but your absence bit me much worse, and I became, as everyone can see, a victim of the vampire, I'm so much like you now, and even so, in my new form, I cannot find you, neither in heaven nor in hell, I wander in all the celestial spheres and each one breaks like a soap bubble, the world does not take shape if you do not appear, the world can not be born, so you take revenge not only on me but on the whole universe, if you and I had lived a love story, I would have asked you to bring me the moon from the sky, but so it would be enough for you to bring me a bouquet of flowers, and that would seem to me the most important thing in the world, because it would be a sign that it is still possible, that all is not lost, that there is still hope, it would be enough, that you cough behind me in the cinema, it would be enough that you fall asleep on my favorite bench in the park, and during this time I will remain standing until you wake up, and after that you will leave without noticing me, and a second later I will sit down and feel the warmth from you, that remains in the wooden boards, I would be satisfied with so little, I would not need a heroic gesture, you should not save me from the fire, you are the fireman who has the mission of doing nothing, but the flames grow and you do not appear on the horizon, I'm already ashes and I'm still waiting for you, in the cinema nobody coughs behind me, on my favorite bench in the park there are only a few dry leaves, and I'm even alienating myself from these places, I'm starting to hate them, one further step after I gave up my vacations, I don't even go for a walk anymore, i stay at home and wait for old age to bite me like a lioness bites a still-living antelope, even if you wanted to get to know me, now you'll only be able to meet a finger or a kneecap or a smell of rottenness, now I don't even want you that you visit me in this morbid situation, I don't want you to have nightmares because you saw me, now it would be better to forget me, even if you were looking for me too, maybe we'll meet in a future life, because in this one there would be cruelty beyond imagination to find each other again, in a way it was good that fate didn't help us, because now I'd be full of regret that you left me, but since I didn't meet you I've nothing to miss, I'm spared the drama, your absence was balm for my soul, i'm still alive because i had no one to kill myself for, but how i'd love to be that stupid teenager who jumps into the river and people find him and newspapers write about him, when i die no newspaper will write about me, so I expect you to know nothing about my end, keep waiting for me, I want you to think I am still alive and I'll be coughing behind you at the movie theater or I'll be falling asleep on your favorite park bench, because I imagine we have a common tastes, i imagine that what I like, you like too, I imagine that we are soul mates, even if we still wander without being able to reunite, when one person suffers, two people suffer, so I believe in my naivety, but maybe there is no one, just a vacuum with which I play, like a child playing with a grenade without realizing the danger, I have already removed the pin and I am waiting for the explosion so that you can see this blinding ball of light and understand that I was very close, my loneliness goes hand in hand with the crowd, I'm the man who is shipwrecked at every party, who comes sad and leaves even sadder, it seems to me that you also lead a secluded life, because I can't find you at the open-air concerts on the occasion of the New Year, I can't find you when I go shopping, I can't find you on Tinder, you're too discreet, my dear! it's more likely that the earth will collide with a comet than that you and I'll meet by chance on the street, maybe you lived thousands of years ago and I was born in the wrong century, or maybe love is an illusion and I'm talking to walls right now, but no matter how bad the situation is, I still believe you exist, and all I've got to do is give a Fedex agent a million dollars, and he'll find you, or maybe he'll run away with the money, and we'll both stay in two parallel worlds, and you'll just get an anonymous letter that you'll want to respond to with all the strength of your heart, but it would be impossible for you because you'd not know the address of the man with whom you'd so like to correspond, and your flame would dissipate before you put pen to paper, you'd forget that you had anything to say to me, and I'd wait, as a wife waits for her husband with Alzheimer's, who does not know who she is to him, to recover.
By Cristi Lavin3 years ago in Poets
SINGLE BUT MARRIED
Yesterday was my birthday. One of my friends gave me an Ouija board as a gift. I said to myself, "Better than a dildo, like last year!" It's already an improvement, you have to admit... The dildo will become superfluous because the ghosts will become my pain in the ass starting from now on.
By Cristi Lavin3 years ago in Horror
SECRET WEDDING
After a short marriage, my mother divorced and never remarried. I was content with this situation because I didn't want to have a stepfather in my life, excuse my selfishness. Early on, I lost contact with my real dad, so I got used to be just me and my mom. Besides, I'm still single and have no desire to start a family of my own. So I am not in the situation to blame myself for having something which she doesn't have anymore. We are in the same shit, sort of speak.
By Cristi Lavin3 years ago in Horror
Bear with me
When my father died, I buried him along with the lucky necklace he gave me before he breathed his last. It was a piece of jewelry that was passed down from generation to generation in our family, from father to son and so on. But for me it was just an old piece, maybe made of gold, maybe not, in any case I couldn't wear something like that, even though it was very precious to my father and also to my grandfather. So at the cemetery I insisted that the only inheritance I received from my father must be placed in his coffin. He can keep it, if you know what I mean.
By Cristi Lavin3 years ago in Horror
