Courtney Benjamin
Bio
An actress and writer with over 70K reads across all platforms, Stories available on Dorian and Episodes, as well as Amazon.
Stories (8)
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The Aftermath Of Taking Back A Husband Who Has Left You For Another Woman.
If you have read my story 365 days +91, then you are familiar with what transpired between my husband and me. What I didn't touch on in that story a lot was in the aftermath. I did say there were aspects of our relationship that were going well and things that needed to be worked on. But how am I? How is my mental health after what happened? It has been an uphill battle, constantly worrying. The girl he had met that he tried to or almost, whatever you want to call it left me for, he met at his work, I made him leave that job, in fact, he never returned once he was let back inside the home. My suspicion did not fade, I found out she had his phone number which he had changed, and he had given her when they apparently decided to just remain coworkers, obviously, I asked why he would, he said it was in case she ever wanted to chat, my initial reaction was or is it in case she ever changes her mind? I tried to bury that thought in the dark recesses of my mind hoping beyond hope that I was just being paranoid, and he truly did decide that he wanted to really be with me, that he did really love me and recognized the error of his ways. I made him change it again, and although he had been more attentive, the thought is still in the back of my mind, will it happen again? Every girl he comes across, especially at work, my initial reaction, is this the one? Is this the girl who is going to change his mind? Make him leave again? The constant checking of his cell phone, the suspicion when he keeps in close. I know it's not healthy and I try daily to push it out of my mind. The fact of the matter is I love this man, and very much want to be with him. How can one fully recover from a betrayal like that? I don't even know if it's a hundred percent possible to fully recover, the guilt of watching him try and do things the right way is overwhelming. And let's not forget the dreams, the constant dreams that it will happen again, honestly, I somehow welcome them, I know that may sound strange, in a sense I feel like they are preparing me just in case it does. Maybe I was crazy to take him back, but love does make you do crazy things. I don't feel like I made the wrong decision, I know people always say forgive and forget, and I truly don't think he actually cheated on me physically, he definitely did emotionally, and although it is easy to say forgive and forget, it is not so easy to actually do it, I had thought I had forgiven him and I think I did forgive part of it, how can I ever forget it though? Unless I got my memory mysteriously wiped for that entire week and a few days past it I do not think I will ever fully recover, or forget, so does that make me crazy that I gave him another chance? Or continue to try and move on from it with him? I really don't know, I just know that I am seriously trying, trying to move past the betrayal, the thoughts, the paranoia, move forward in the relationship. He knows it's been a long road, and we are not even halfway through the trip, he tells me daily this is where he wants to be, I am who he wants to be with, and he loves me. The question still remains though, Is there that one girl who is going to make him change his mind?
By Courtney Benjamin4 years ago in Confessions
Moving On
Moving on from a relationship can be extremely difficult, but what happens when the relationship breakdown is due to the fact that the person you invested all your time and energy into is a narcissist? You fell in love with the worse type of personality there is, Narcissists are energy-draining, soul-crushing creatures who make you feel that no matter what you are just not good enough, that it is your fault only.
By Courtney Benjamin4 years ago in Confessions
Best Hair Products For Curly Hair
If you are like me and one of the 11% of women to have naturally curly hair in the world today! yes, 11%! I was actually mind-blown when I read that statistic. I have one more that may blow your mind; only 4% of the world's female population is a natural blonde. But I digress. I have spent 48 years of my life tortured by naturally curly hair, only stumbling on manageable hairstyles in my early 30s. Granted curling irons, hairdryers, and products that promised to shape your hair in ways God never intended or with a soft subtle touch that never delivered have flooded the market for years, then curling irons and rollers were soon replaced by flat irons which pressed your hair in between 2 scorching hot plates that were supposed to glide through your hair effortlessly leaving nothing but a nice shiny straight piece, what a load of bull that turned out to be. Or am I the only one that got my hair pulled while it smoked only to be left with a crimp that went through the middle parallel, and frizz, after all, was said and done? I certainly hope I wasn't the only one tortured by these devices that never did what they said they would. I know most women who have curly hair have always dreamed of those straight silky shiny locks, dreaming of waking up in the morning rolling out of bed, just simply running a brush through, and being ready to face the world like you just walked out of a salon. Let's not forget about the infomercials? A frenemy of the sleep-deprived looking for the next best miracle. I am about to deliver some products I have used over the years and just recently that I feel should be a staple in every curly hair goddesses bathroom.
By Courtney Benjamin4 years ago in Blush
365 Days +91.
The Betrayal And The Gut Instinct As I sat on my couch writing, my husband made dinner. I looked over to the kitchen at the man I felt so lucky to have met with a distant look in his eyes. "Babe, what's wrong?" I said. He looked at me for a minute and replied, "I'm fine." I looked at him, perplexed for a few minutes, and returned my attention to my computer screen. For some reason, I had an ache in my heart, and a gut-wrenching feeling in my soul, something inside of me already knew. I looked at him again, his eyes fixed on the floor before him, I decided to turn myself toward him once again posing the same question. "What is wrong?" His eyes never leaving the floor he said to me "I didn't even want to come home tonight." I felt like a punch to the stomach, my cheeks feeling a sudden warmth, "Well, that's nice. Why would you even say something like that?" I said. He looked up at me for a split second, and said "Just letting you know how I feel." I took in a deep breath, the feeling overwhelming, and I had no other choice to ask the question. "Is there someone else?" I said, He stood there quiet, eyes to the ground, every second feeling like an eternity. I could not take the silence anymore, the silence answered the gnawing in my heart. "There is, isn't there?" I said loudly. His eyes again landed on me as he opened his mouth and said the word I dreaded to hear. "Yes, there is." Anger grew inside me like a volcano waiting to erupt. "Who is she?" I screamed, "It doesn't matter." He replied. "Is it someone I know?" I asked. He paused and finally said "No." I grabbed my phone, looking for anyone to save me from this nightmare, I texted mutual friends, I slammed my phone down, I looked at him, and saw red. "Well, I hope you made the right decision because she is all you have now," I said as he gathered his belonging and made his way out the door.
By Courtney Benjamin4 years ago in Confessions
How To Break Into Acting
This is a guide to show you how you can break into the world of acting, this guide is intended for people from 18-100. I am an actor, I did my first movie when I was 37 years old. Since then I have done a lot of movies, and a couple of commercials. I am now a member Sag-Aftra which is the actor's union. The movies I have done are feature films. your best start honestly in independent films even if you do not get a paycheck for it. I started out in background acting, and unfortunately I have been stuck there ever since, the region I am in does not help, nor does the casting companies that are available.
By Courtney Benjamin5 years ago in Journal
Swipe Left
In today's technology, there is not one person man or woman who has not fallen victim to the lure of dating apps it is inevitable in this day and age and widely more acceptable, but what is really the story behind the people you meet on these apps, being a woman I am going to touch on the points of the 'boys' I've met on said apps, and I do use the term boys because a lot of them have really not grown up. And when I say met, I mean made the mistakes of swiping on, because the reality is most of the guys do not really want to meet you in person, I swear they want a harem of girls they can fall back on just in case. I know that probably does not make a lot of sense but in all seriousness, I ended up chatting with several boys, via the different apps we all know them Tinder, Bumble, etc.
By Courtney Benjamin5 years ago in Humans
From Beyond The Grave
I assume most people do not believe in ghosts, or spirits, that once we die, that is it; nothing else happens. I at one point was a skeptic, until I had a couple of eye-opening experiences. The first happened when I was 16 years old and my grandmother passed away.
By Courtney Benjamin5 years ago in Horror
