Conrad Hannon
Bio
Conrad Hannon, a pseudonym, is a satirist, humorist, and commentator. He's stricken with a peculiar malady, a dual infection of technophilia and bibliophilia. To add to this, he harbors an unsettling fondness for history and civics.
Stories (18)
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Of Dire Wolves and Designer Pets:
Introduction: Resurrection as Product Roadmap When Colossal Biosciences announced plans to bring back the dire wolf, headlines immediately summoned images of saber-toothed predators prowling suburban backyards, school field trips to reanimated Ice Age parks, and the faint hope that maybe, just maybe, we could reverse the most irreversible phenomenon in nature: extinction. Behind the enthusiasm, however, is a more grounded and highly scalable development—one that will eventually supply the market with animals that were either lost to history, or never existed at all, except in the imagination of advertisers, animators, and those with enough capital to finance a new kind of living luxury.
By Conrad Hannon7 months ago in Futurism
You Can't Fake a Meme:
Introduction In the digital age, memes are more than entertainment—they're currency. They shape political narratives, drive brand awareness, and define online subcultures. Naturally, this power tempts marketers, politicians, and strategists to manufacture virality. But here's the problem: true memes don't obey press releases, brand decks, or communications calendars. They emerge, mutate, and spread only when the internet *chooses* them.
By Conrad Hannon7 months ago in The Swamp
Caitlin Clark Is the Chazz Michael Michaels of Basketball
For those who missed the cinematic masterpiece that was "Blades of Glory," Chazz Michael Michaels was figure skating's most beautiful disaster—a whiskey-soaked, leather-clad hurricane who treated the sport like his personal nightclub. He didn't ask permission to redefine what figure skating could be. He just showed up, cranked the volume, and made it impossible to look away.
By Conrad Hannon7 months ago in Unbalanced
The Greatest Troll on Earth:
The Origins of a Cosmic Jest Let's establish something up front: in the year of our Lord two thousand and twenty-five, no one with reliable access to indoor plumbing, let alone a smartphone, could sincerely believe the Earth is flat. Yet, from the dimly lit corners of YouTube and the sticky-floored conference rooms of America's mid-tier motels, they persist. Or do they?
By Conrad Hannon7 months ago in Geeks
Unalienable, Inalienable, or Just Plain Alien?
Navigating philosophical discussions on natural or "God-given" rights often feels like attending an eccentric family reunion. You're surrounded by concepts you vaguely recognize, but something seems slightly off—like encountering a distant cousin sporting neon socks at a black-tie gala. These rights, supposedly intrinsic and inviolable, often lead us down bewildering rhetorical paths. But here's the thing: they're ours, peculiarities and all, and they may be the only thing standing between civilization and the abyss.
By Conrad Hannon7 months ago in History
