Christina Barger

A Soulmate Calling

"Major Depression" I was 24, didn't have a sense of self, I felt that I needed to find myself. I felt as if I needed to find something, I didn't know what that was. I had everything that I wanted, a boyfriend of 10 years, lots of clothes, and whatever I desired. But it was like I had nothing, material objects just didn't cut it for me, for they will be here long after I'm gone. I had to go within myself, to really find myself. I knew this, but It never happened so I just did what people normally do. Go to the doctor and they gave me medicine, it numbed the pain, I thought it was the way for a long time and then one day I started to wean myself off the medication because I needed to feel again. I decided to ride and it was the greatest feeling but only lasted so long. I lived in a small town called Wallkill, New York, in the countryside with a well-known race track right behind my house called "The Playboy Track", the locals used it to practice for all the big races that come to life in the spring, I was one of them. I love to ride, it's nothing like anything in the world, I always feel free when I'm riding. AMA stands for American motorist Association. Then one day I had a calling, from a soul that need me, that needed me to love her, I didn't know who or what it was yet. Riding freed me but not in totality, I had to find and seek something of the unknown, it hasn't happened yet. Maybe I wasn't ready. So riding will have to do for now.