Calvin Smith
Bio
Calvin Smith is a Christian Counselor, Author, and Social Media Community Leader. He is passionate about providing practical skills that facilitate definable results.
Stories (7)
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Investigating rather than Loving Your Partner.
Investigating rather than Loving Your Partner. The Trap of Getting It Confused By Calvin Smith, MA Many often seek to find the safest way to know who they can love and who they should not. Some resort to tricks and tests of loyalty in order to discover the position of a person's heart. In searching for answers, there are two perspectives that I’d like to explore with you today. They are the “investigator” and the “partner” perspectives. An investigator and a partner are not the same. The two come from different places although they may seem similar at first glance as they both seek answers to clarify the commitment of a person. Both the investigator and partner seek to find information, understanding..even in worse case scenarios they both can find fault but while the investigator seeks to report or apply punitive force, partnering engages the person in the relationship for the purpose of understanding, healing, supporting, restoring, enhancing, and developing with their partner with a better understanding of the challenges at hand. Although they both discover information, it can be a confusing experience if one doesn’t know why they are doing the fact finding. Further without a healthy perspective of self the information may be skewed resulting in unhealthy interpretations of their meaning that drive insecurity and even aggression.
By Calvin Smith5 years ago in Humans
The Mixed Fruit of Self Awareness ...
The Mixed Fruit of Self Awareness ... (And it’s Benefits in a Relationship) Have you ever tried to talk to a person from a perspective of how you’d like things to be versus where you are with them in the current moment? It is hard to convince anyone that you are sincere if your actions stay consistent with the opposite. The struggle is to be honest about where you are at so that you can grow from that place of volnerability towards lasting connection. The mask of defenses and cognitive distortions can actually escalate our adversarial interactions rather than restoring them. Spoken in plain English, Don’t let being mad and defensive be the norm in your relationship, learn to be insightful and self reflecting. In fact, learning to see the parts of you compelled to deliver what you express instead of linearly exchanging a one sided cause and effect determinations for what is acceptable in your interactions. The blame is not all your partner’s fault.
By Calvin Smith5 years ago in Humans
Help My Relationship is Failing.
Help My Relationship is Failing. “We are walking away from our marriage.” A person posted...Rising to the surface, a correction of insight resounded within me...”You know....admission of a problem is a healthy start, but there is also a time to acknowledge that the skills a couple has to work with each other are not sufficient for the level of their current needs.” This said, additional resources and training can support healthy growth of the relationship. It provides insight towards facilitating healthy adjustments for the current of life’s transitions.
By Calvin Smith5 years ago in Humans
“Is it Acceptable to have a Work Wife/Husband?
“Is it acceptable to have a work wife/husband apart from your significant other?” There are many avenues companies explore to find ways to optimize their employees performance on the job. In fact many companies go out of their way to administer personality tests to match work team combinations to enhance work performance. Trying to find the right chemistry to break the high cost of turnover rates, lack of initiative in the workplace and stale interactions that result in a boring place to work can be the objective of a company. With all this being said, one must evaluate whether the “perfect compatibility” of who you can work with on the job that is suggested by a test would in fact be just as complimentary for the employees home life. Especially considering how the significant other could be effected by the work demands of that team suggestion. I’m not saying that the company has an agenda. In fact, some companies have no fraternization policies.
By Calvin Smith5 years ago in Journal
Superman and Superwoman vs Kratos: God of War.
Superman and Superwoman vs Kratos: God of War Ever had that epic battle that could have been resolved with just a few minutes of good old fashioned communication? Sometimes I wonder, in a world full of powers, how often we categorize power in terms of the intimidating attributes we know of instead of respecting the multiple expressions of power we overlook. (Perhaps even the one’s we don’t know readily about.) There are some levels of power through which we are not familiar. The power to connect is not always through force. The power of love seems often underrated as one struggles to make sense of the seemingly indifferent actions of others. For that, the undaunted response may be to retailiate to the extent that we have experienced or perceived the wrong. Do we cover the expanse of allegorical perfectionism in our retaliations without understanding the facts behind the facts? Failures of taking the initiative to understand why did this offensive action precipitate in the first place? This is not speaking towards the compliment of our abilities to demonstrate our mastery of insightful understanding that flows in equal balance with the power we wield. To leap before looking, a tragic story of miscommunication. How often does that story play out in our lives? Perhaps if we took more time to understand one another before becoming ready to administer our brand of justice, we’d have a lot less skirmishes and a lot more celebrations of relating.
By Calvin Smith5 years ago in Geeks
Unstopping The Phenomenal in You
Unstopping The Phenomenal in You by Acknowledging the Phenomenal in Someone Else. I start this post first with a challenge. That challenge is to celebrate the brilliance of someone else’s mind. There was a man by the name of Elisha that followed another brilliant man, Elijah, learning from his insights. Eventually surpassing the prowess that refined him. This man did twice as many miracles as Elijah demonstrated. I say all this to say, Don’t be so linear in limiting who you can gleen insights from. Finding out how to unlock the greatness in you sometimes takes the giftings of another that inspires you.
By Calvin Smith5 years ago in Motivation
