Brooke Gardner
Bio
Hello!! I'm Brooke and I am 17. I just graduated from high school. I enjoy writing stories and poetry.
Stories (2)
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Celebrating Accomplishments
People in your life that you care about can have an incredible impact on the way you think of yourself. As a child, your self worth is determined by what your parents say to you, what they put into your mind. This becomes your way of thinking; positive or negative, their words are powerful. When I was growing up, I heard both positive and negative words. The words that formed how I viewed myself were from the people most important in my life at the time. These were my divorced parents. Many positive words of encouragement came from my mom; however, as a young child I called myself a “daddy’s girl” and overlooked my mom’s positive words. My father, on the other hand, fed my mind negativity and self doubt. I grew up as a child trying to please him by doing sports and getting good grades. I remember him being supportive of me playing baseball and coming to a few of my games. When I started following my own path and taking up passions I was interested in, he seemed disappointed. I would show him my drawings and he would be impressed, but at the same time would tell me I needed to do a school sport. It was past the point of encouragement. It was overlooking the talent I have and trying to get me to do something he wanted. It was hurtful for me, growing up believing he was not proud of me. Entering high school my grades began to slip slightly; from straight A’s to A’s and B’s. I believe this was caused by overworking myself and ignoring my mental health, which I noticed began to decline. My father began to comment on how I needed to get my grades up and B’s were not good enough. It got far enough to the point he was checking my A’s to see how low the percentage was. I would talk to my mom about the things my father was telling me. She reassured me I was doing amazing and to keep up my hard work, but my father’s words stuck to my brain like a leech, sucking out all the self appreciation and pride I had. I knew I had to get away from him when I realized what he was doing to my mental health. At sixteen, I stopped visiting my dad. It was clear to me that my mom and step dad had been there for me more than my father. Throughout high school I neglected the importance of my achievements because I felt I was not good enough. My junior year I made a painting that got into my town’s college art show. My mom and step dad were very proud of me, but I wasn’t proud of myself. I could hear my thoughts telling me my art wasn’t good enough to be in the show. That I wasn’t worthy of this achievement. I was worthy. I deserved to have my art seen by everyone and I still do. At the time, I couldn’t see the accomplishment. I spent the night after the art show crying and thinking about my peers' amazing art. I thought mine didn’t deserve to be shown with theirs. Looking back, I wish I could have overcome the negative thoughts planted into my head: then I could have enjoyed the feeling of being proud and celebrating. Now, I am starting to recognize my worth. My goal for this year, 2021, is to improve my self appreciation. Remembering my past accomplishments and realizing how far I’ve really come has helped. While also recognizing current achievements. I have accomplished so many things and have been through many hardships, which I believe have led me to be the person I was meant to be. I am proud of myself and who I am. I hope you are too.
By Brooke Gardner 5 years ago in Families
High School
Being a teenager is a difficult time in people’s lives. It comes with both mental and physical changes that can be extremely overwhelming. Entering high school doesn’t help with this process. High school often adds to the worry of social acceptance and status. This has affected me throughout my years in high school; social acceptance affected my self esteem and relationships. However, I find that being kind to others and receiving kindness can help benefit someone’s confidence and mental health. A good deed that stood out from all my other experiences of teenage kindness, happened my junior year of high school. It was finally lunch time, the day had been rough so far and I was ready to fuel my body. I went through the lunch line, alone of course, with my earbuds in. Green, green, green, my lunch was so boring. Only a simple salad. Approaching the seating area, I prepared myself to find a table to sit at. I stood for a moment not seeing any empty tables. Once I found an empty table, I sat to eat. Face down, earbuds in, no contact. The feeling was lonely and I’m aware my actions were isolating, but I couldn’t seem to approach people. People very rarely approached me, but that day was different. Sometimes I would look up just a glance. That day I looked up and saw a group of girls sitting at a table in front of me. One of the five girls was looking back at me, but then turned around talking to the other girls. I continued to eat my food. Later I looked up again and saw the group of girls talking and looking at me. I assumed they were talking about me in a bad way, for that was all I had experienced. I looked down at my food, then pulled out my phone to distract myself from the girls. A minute or so later, I looked up again and saw the same girl looking back at me. She was smiling and waving. I assumed she was waving at someone behind me, so I didn’t wave and looked away to avoid embarrassment. A few seconds later I looked up at them again. She was still waving and smiled. I pointed to myself in a confused way and mouthed the word “me?”. She shook her head yes, smiling as the other girls watched. I smiled excitedly at her and returned the wave. Before my socially anxious self knew it they were walking over to the table I was sitting at. I watched them walk over to me. The first girl sat down, the rest following.
By Brooke Gardner 5 years ago in Humans
