Ashley ODell

The Small Black Book and The Serenity Angel

"BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ... BUZZ", the alarm clock screeches. Another redundant morning, she throws the cover to the side and throws her legs off the bed, each aching joint at a time. No need to even bother starting the coffee considering she does not have any and her brain is already going a mile a minute about the worries of not meeting her bills and losing her children to their father. Why can’t she be one of the lucky ones who just comes across some money or wins the lottery? Why can’t she find a man who sees a great mother in her? Why can’t her kids have a true father figure? She would be set for life and would not have to worry about another bill or affording a lawyer to defend her character against the father of the kids or worry what damage is being caused by the father and his projecting accusations. "Thank you for calling in today, how may I help you?" is the constant introduction of the hell loop she is stuck in, the only freedom is imagining the "what ifs" of winning the lottery and breaking free. It’s always about helping someone else until you are bled dry and all pruned up. When will she get help? Does anyone even notice that she needs it? She is a raisin at this point.