Loved once
You every been so in love with someone you become blind to things that should have been clear as day. Well. If you haven't here's how it went for me. Met the childhood boy who turned out to be a crush that I was too scared to tell that he made me smile just from being near. So that I would write little notes of fantasy to or about because reality made me nervous. Fast forward a few years and never in my wildest dreams I believed that something like this would happen. He kissed me. Yes, right on the lips during the viewing of a movie on a couch in his grandmothers’ apartment. I never knew he even felt anything for me because maybe he was like I was, scared to say what he was thinking. It was nothing like I ever knew before being able to finally tell this now teenager that I was so crazy about him. Nope. I never worked up the nerve to tell him he made me crazy, but I did get out that I liked him. I was all smiles and butterflies in the stomach for a year even giving away the most precious thing a young female teen would have in her life. Or so she though back then when life as an adult wasn’t even an afterthought. Man, I loved him and pictured my life with him but as a teenager I wasn’t one to stick around for things that wasn’t healthy. Where was the mindset of that teenager as I got older? Back on topic. When I decided that this relationship wasn’t worth the arguments and stupid everything, I broke it off. It wasn’t like we were apart for long or together either until he decided that our limbo relationship was too much, he left the state. He had become my first everything. And if you haven’t once again experienced this, it is the worst especially when for me everything was compared to that one relationship with the teenage boy who stole my heart.
