anthony giglio
Bio
I'd love to but, all my writing would be augmented to a persona in a way manipulated by my bio. If I say I am a saint, you'll either believe me or think the opposite. How bout you use your mind and decide who I am, then tell me.
Stories (20)
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Clustered
Like a faithful martyr, I have not slept in our bed since she left and watched every car go by, hoping for, I'm not even sure. It's sadly hilarious that I blocked myself from 2 apparent points. First that she's a beautiful girl in great shape. Second, I must be shallow enough that I was sold simply on that, as she possesses no actual self for me to have fallen in love with.
By anthony giglio3 years ago in Psyche
Good morning
To preface: I hadn’t slept in at least 2 full nights,and am pretty positive I disassociated early in the week. I had, for…reasons…been thinking about the meaning of life, to a point that I was as far as writing about it last night. The quotes are both screenshots I took last night, not pictured were a screen of Christian’s in the world and how much of the planet trees cover. Yes,that, verbatim, was my search “percentage of earth trees cover”, I guess my search proved bountiful.The answers were, 30B and 31% (Sq miles), respectfully. It is funny, that without a thought, Google’s first result became fact to me. I didn’t look at the URL before it was factual. It was statista, and had that been my findings for the first question, I would research further as the worldwide Christian statistics should be confirmed by a website that on blurred vision doesn’t read like a specific piece of Nazi propaganda. Lastly; I sleep with the earplugs, and mask on. The ghetto sleep pod: 3000! The bottle of Tito’s is simply for scale. It is barely 9am and you couldn’t resist my rabbit hole due to the f’n 1.5L handle of Tito’s? One of us should seek help. It is not me.
By anthony giglio3 years ago in Journal
SISU
Hellsinki You keep showing me I am “less than”, and I kept believing you. But there is irony in this joke you think is reality. As you have always been “less than”, and I have always carried you with your head held, while ensuring it stayed above the waves, all while I drowned. I breathed water knowing it would cost me my life, for your life, and for your solace. And I would do it again a thousand times over, even if I knew it would only provide me with the masterpiece in front of me, which is your shame. What was your delusional idealism of the outcome? Did you miss who I am so much that you thought I would just let you win? Do I seem like a person that would just give up? Oh, yeah, maybe I do. Maybe because you made me smaller than you at every corner, and then believed your own lies to think of me as weak. I was not , and I am not, and I will never be weak. I let you grasp, maybe even become obese in your facade of happiness, even if it was at my peril. You are nothing now. Nor have you ever been, anything close to the place my imagination and my grace excelled you to. I guess I gave so much that you became greedy. Well, so be it, have your cake, eat it too. But, you, you manipulative fucking amateur of self loathing, with your cheeks stuffed beyond their limits…Please know, that I see the pig you have always been. I saw it at first sight. I decided that I would roll around in the shit with you, because otherwise, you would just be rolling in shit alone. Superior to me? That is what you had told me. Superior to Americans? Your education that was paid for by Finland, and your made up society driven accolades. Though my debilitating disability kept me from that luxury, and I’ve still ended up smarter than you. It’s because I have empathy, you have nothing, or apathy (essentially the same). You are animate about your causes, causes you have never shed a tear for, blood for, or any support besides trying to boost your inflated, yet fake, ego. I have been at your level, yes once before, then I inhaled my first breath. Your dedication to being apathetic?Is akin to a joke at a funeral to me. Inappropriate, and utterly equally dysfunctional to the society you curse and direct any blame for your suffering. All while abusing it by stealing its resources for your greed. You own nothing, yet you naturally blame everyone? You may find your happiness, sorry I mean delusion, but it will never be pure. Purity cannot purify the embodiment of evil you are. You had one light shinning on you, and now, the curtains are closed, the house lights dimmed, and you will look for someone else to clap for you. Did you ever pause to ponder; “Are the claps for me or because they are relived to see the curtain rather than my show?” I can assure you it is, and has always been because they did not have to see another second of your self serving lies. I would glow if I had the ability to be your reckoning, but I will have to leave it in the capable hands of karma. You made yourself this way, and the longer you play these games the harder it will be to become even a half decent human being. And through it all, my arms are open to you. I love you, and will roll around in the shit with you in hopes you’d become anything more, maybe even find empathy.
By anthony giglio3 years ago in Poets
Another morning
I look out at the break of day, in this city. Could be any fucking city, the difference's are relative. Whatever your scope is, it's hard to ignore the blood, sweat, tears, death, love, evil and everything between that created what is just a direction to us. A neglected dog sits in the cold yard adjacent. She has questions that she will never have answered. Ironic the answers I have, I wish I never held the questions are of abundance. I discard my cigarette, only a quarter smoked wondering why I even smoke. Then I remember how long life has been, aware of how long the rest will be, and that any way to lessen the quantity if nothing else will at least define the quality.
By anthony giglio3 years ago in Poets
Truth and expenses
You’ve taken what wasn’t yours to take. You’ve lied passed the point of being able to escape what comes next. Your surrender and eventually, you begging me to yield. I will be clear in a bit, once the truth comes out that you’re habitual. That and all the shame hidden behind your faux personality that is illogical to a point where I can’t help but laugh that you ever saw me as inferior. You are nothing, and I lifted your useless ass up over my head to be left abandoned, broken-hearted, so you can be seen as a victim, again? If you only knew, I loved you, none of that had anything to do with pity. It’s such an ugly look, but you’re proving it is apropos.
By anthony giglio3 years ago in Pride
Sunrise
Another morning. Another morning of not knowing if you’ve woken. Another morning that your heart hasn’t changed. Another morning negotiating to no avail with anyone that would barter. Another morning spent haunted by the ghost you’ve left me here with. Another morning I’ve resisted mourning us, knowing I couldn’t return once I start. All this, for you. In the dark. Fighting off all of my own demons, just to be here, in hope.
By anthony giglio3 years ago in Poets
Relationship eulogy
There’s only 2 things, as I know there isn’t an audiance for me, as I’m now viewed. 1. I am sorry, I know what it was. I wish when it was brought up that I saw it. I should’ve at least when you brought it up a second time. I was simply trying to fill silence, the comment was so meaningless in my mind I cannot remember it verbatim. I get though, that caused this. Being “split black”. It does not excuse the reactions, but I could choose to. I never had any thoughts about being with her, and never any thoughts of not being with you. The end of the lease coming, and because of the communication (on both of us) or lack therof, me not going to Finland with you, you were looking for the abandonment. I didn’t know you wanted me to go with you.
By anthony giglio3 years ago in Poets
Sometimes, you just can’t.
I’ll give you credit (the true you) for being sure to control the impulses your disorder demands of you when Holden was close to the end. I won’t ever know how much it took of you, but I do know, it was something. I always will be thankful for that.
By anthony giglio3 years ago in Poets
