Annabelle Holland

1010 Words

It’s cold. A new wave of sadness hits me and it’s only 7:43 in the morning. The sun is rising and it looks beautiful, it looks warm. It reminds me of her. She was like the sun, she could make your day the brightest it has ever been; but the difference with her and the sun was that the sun goes down eventually, she never did. She was always warm-warm and beautiful. The sun is peeking through my curtains now, trying to brighten my day. But I don’t want to open them because that means it's another day without her. I’ve noticed that my tulips have died. I have to get rid of those soon. All the petals have fallen onto my unused turntable. I am stalling. I shuck the covers off me and go to my curtains. I grab one of them and start pulling it back. Instantly the sun starts spilling all over my hand, reflecting onto my skin making it slightly warm. The more I pull the curtain back the more I see what the sun is reflecting on-I used to be one of those things. I can see the parts of the trees that are catching the sun’s reflection, but then I also see other parts that are hidden just out of reach. That's how I feel right now, that I am cold in the shadows even though the sun is so close to me. She used to make me feel so comforted and warm every time she was near, nothing could put a shadow over me. Like, you know when you are on a walk and there is snow on the ground and the sun is out, and it doesn’t feel cold? Because not only does the snow reflect the light of the sun onto your face, it also makes you feel this warm inviting feeling that gives you this internal comfort. But then you look over to the other side of the road and it’s all shadows. It is so cold and nothing about that side makes you want to go over there. That’s the feeling I have without her. I’m thinking too hard, yet that’s all I have been doing since she left. I keep trying to think of reasons why she would leave and I have some predictions, but I don’t know if I want the answer to them.