Warlock

” The job is simple”

“ Simple doesn't mean easy”

“ Oh I'm sorry. Am I a babysitter? Is this a nursery? I thought this was a bounty hunter's gunship.

“ Ava I'm really not in the mood to do an FTL jump just to check out some derelict space station's crusty old distress signal.”

” Big baby, big baby with a plasma Arm Cannon and suit of power armour. Does that thing change your diaper too or do I have to do that?”

“ Look, whatever's on that ship is probably still alive and I don't want to have to deal with it. That's a class 14 star-line freighter; it must have had at least a dozen Marines aboard, which means something nasty got them. Not to mention all of the decay; Plus the Tech on it is probably so old anyway that we're just getting scrap value for it.”

“...I'm about that old.”

” Ava don't be like that”

“ Oh be like what? A big pile of scrap?”

Iden gently padded the console of his gunship, A.V.A. “ Ava you're not scrap. And you're not ancient and you're not a derelict either.””

“ Oh?” The onboard computer chimed back, already knowing the flattery that was to follow “ Then what, all tell... Am I?”

“Well” Iden cleared his throat “You are an antique. You are irreplaceable, a one of a kind.”

“You mean the only kind of ship that charges your suit?” the AI said playfully.

“ Well that certainly helps”"Iden said back sarcastically.

“ Which reminds me, the charging port needs to be replaced again, along with a dozen other things around me.””

“ Oh boy””

“So if you don't want to be sitting around in a pile of scrap I suggest you zip up your booties and prepare for an FTL jump to the derelict.”

“ Fine, fine.” Iden locked his arm cannon into the command console and prepared for the jump.” But if it's, another, sarkeesian limb Ripper, the ammo cost is coming out of your half of the cut””

“Oh ho you're on, why don't we make it a bet?”

“No.”

“ Why not?”

“ Because every time you bet, you always bet something way, way worse.”

“ And?””

“ Annnnnnnnnd.... You. Are. Always. Right”

“You make it sound like I'm cheating. “

“Id bet you are cheating. “

“It's not like I'm guessing something like a Cicliphants.”

“Oh all damn it, it's going to be a Cicliphants now.”

“No it's not.”

“I'll bet it's a Cicliphants.”

“Fine I'll bet it's a limb ripper then.*

“That bet I'll take.”

One short FTL jump later... And one long away mission on the derelict class 14 star-line Freighter - Equinox.( See above painting for details on how that went) Iden returns aboard Ava.

“So what was it then?” Ava asked, unable to keep the smugness free from her voice.

“...”

“So what was it Iden?”

“ A big Cosmic Joke...” He said before sulking off to his room.

“So the Limb ripper then?”

“ You cheat; I don't know how but you do!”

“ Oh don't be a baby!”