My Experiences from ‘Sketchbook Project’

I’ve been struggled to join any art community due from my mental health issues and extreme sensitive of rejection, or known as rejection sensitive dysphoria. After I went through from so many critics, I felt broken like my brain wasn’t working right. That includes during my high school, when my classmates and I were been stricter by the teacher. We were not allowed to do cartoonish and whimsy details—except do something ‘realistic’. No silly faces and no cartoony stuff.

Sounds lame, right?

Yes, it was frustrating and discouraging to make something to be ‘perfect’. I bet others felt the same thing too.

For starters, I’ve been passionate with art since I was a little girl. I love arts and crafts so much whether im at my old home, my school, my ‘after school’ activities, or at the church.

Ever since in 2011 to 2017, I’ve been struggled for doing something better as a digital artist like doing the fanarts of Critical Role. It turned out that mine is nothing but from elementary school. I’ve also been surrounded by many artists who were more incredible succeed than me or any other small artists. I don’t know why if art is really a competition or art is actually no right or wrong to be creative? I still don’t get it, especially that algorithm garbage and perfectionism issues.

Until I saw something on Facebook- it’s a promo video of an art library when all of the artists from entire globe submitted their work at this place. I was amazed - like ‘Wow! everyone is doing it?! I wanna do it!’

It was one of the most artistic experiences I have ever had! Its always been fun to join with these sketchbooks every year.. It is called ‘The SkecthBook Project’. I have been started on later later 2017 and ended on early 2023. Before I began to join this community, The Sketchbook Project had been started in 2006( 18 years ago) at the Brooklyn Art Library from Brooklyn, New York.

I had succeed at least six or seven sketchbooks in this community. Each of the sketchbooks I did were showing my randomly doodles, my favorites(including movies, music, and quotes,etc), my stories, my feelings, my self-expressions, my imaginations, and my journeys.

Most of them were digitalized- it means that all of them were scanned into the digital library so the viewers can see on the website like going to the viral libaray.

I also participated their free draw challenges of portraits(just for fun) during pandemic and even before.

I had done a couple of canvas projects- the entire gallery is amazing! Also my canvas is still at the page

Of course, my assigned word is ‘Contraband’- it took months before the deadline to figure it out about ’I don’t get it! What does it mean?! How could I do something with this word?!” It was challenging, but at least I did something what I think about it’s anything that’s very toxic.

In later 2022, my final SBP I had done is the time capsule memoir. I wrote and drew some things what I had done during pandemic including my healing process, my battle against trauma, my siblings’ businesses, & my personal growth. I know it can be personal but hopefully someone will see after 50 years(if its already been buried from the capsule).

in early 2023, I was looking forward what’s more coming up after they relocated to St Petersburg, Florida-until, the fire appeared!

WHAT?!

What happened ?! Why? How? Was it struck by the lightening? Maybe…

‘I was heartbroken! Everyone was devastated! So am I. It’s been weeks to reach the donation goal-unfortunately, we were so close. I felt crushed. After the terrible fire incident and unreached goal, everything close down.

I felt lost…

I know it went very short, but I’m very grateful that I experienced with this fun community. It really encouraged me to do that it’s okay to be imperfect as an artist, an illustrator , or a designer. And, I’m glad I did. I’m still thankful for the people from Brooklyn Art Library for doing this. I hope someday that the new Sketchbook project will come…