Why You Shouldn't Fall for a Guy Who's 'Too Good to Be True'



Let's be honest, if a guy seems "too good to be true," he will make you feel like you're living in a dream. Everything about him seems perfect is charm, his words, the way he makes you feel. And while that might sound ideal, it isn't always as great as it appears. Sure, on the surface he can appear to be just right; yet reality is often very much otherwise. A man such as this typically has but one aim: win you over. Say or do anything that brings it about. He concentrates his efforts solely upon obtaining attention and affection

But here's the thing: science has shown that these types of guys tend to have a less active prefrontal cortex, which is the part of the brain responsible for decision-making and impulse control. In simple terms, they don't tend to think deeply or make careful, long-term decisions. They react to what feels good at the moment and aren't often considering the future consequences of their actions. This means they are more likely to live in the moment, without considering the bigger perspective, which can lead them into problems in a relationship.

That is why they are typically not great for serious and long-term relationships. They are going to make you feel amazing for a while but when things start getting real or when the excitement eventually wears off, they won't be sticking around, typically. They feed on the rush of a new experience and are more into the hunt than actually constructing something of significance. A relationship that asks for patience, work, and commitment will not interest them. As soon as the real job of the relationship is begun, they'll disappear and you are left heartbroken.

Dear girls, stop running for that guy who makes butterflies or who makes every day seem like a movie. Sure, those feelings are fun, and they may make you feel on top of the world, but they aren't the foundation for a healthy, strong, and lasting relationship. Look for the guy who's reliable, even if he seems a little boring. He's the one who won't overwhelm you with grand gestures or constant excitement, but he does show up consistently and cares for you in small, meaningful ways.

You want someone who is constant. He may forget to bring you flowers once in a while, but he will always remember to ask how you're doing, check in on you, and make sure you feel cared for. He is the man who treats your parents right, listens to you even when you are talking about something silly or irrelevant, and encourages your goals, no matter how big or small they are. This is the kind of partner who understands that a relationship isn't about grand moments, but about consistent support and understanding.

He doesn't expect you to split bills just to prove you're "independent." He isn't about keeping tabs on who's paying for what. Instead, he believes in sharing responsibilities and being there for each other—emotionally, physically, and financially—without keeping score. It's not about doing mental math about equality; it's about building a partnership where both of you are supportive, and both are invested in the relationship.

Influencers are loving relationship tips these days, but those people's own lives mostly are in disarray. There will be someone out there talking to you about "power couples," sharing bills, or how you need to "chase the spark." But, let me tell you: it's your life. Nobody on the internet has anything to say to you to tell you what your relationship should look like. The truth is, every relationship is unique, and no one has the formula for success. Instead of listening to the advice of people who are more interested in promoting their image, turn to those who’ve been through it all, like your grandparents or older couples who have lasted the test of time.

Ask them how they met and how they stayed together despite things becoming tough. Find out what made their love work for long. They will tell you that it is not the most romantic relationship, neither does it always feel exciting; however, the spark fades eventually, leaving commitment, respect, and love. What actually matters is the amount of work you put in to nurture the relationship or how you treat each other.

He could be that guy who makes you feel you are floating on air. That feeling does not last. What you actually need is a steady guy, one who is kind. One guy who will not leave at the good times but remains there when things get worse. He will stand for you when you are most vulnerable and be your rock in times of adversity.

The right guy isn't going to give you the rollercoaster every day, but he'll stand with you when it matters. It is that kind of love, the one that proves for time. The love which would get you through the good times and the bad and that doesn't disappear if everything isn't perfect. He would be reliable, a sweet guy, and more seriously invested in building some sort of future together. That's the kind of partner you need to look for—a partner who loves you for what you are, not because they think you're exciting.

(This story was originally posted on Medium.com by me)