Where The Sky Doesn't Exist

Start wriOne day, I'll just disappear. Far, far away from here. No one will know and should know I'm gone. I'll just vanish from randomness, and everyone will be clueless about my reasons and left wondering about my existence. I'll wander to the unknowns, to the undiscovered, and the untouched. I'll go to a place where no one knows my name, no one recognises my face, and no one cares about everything I do. I will leave for a place where the flowers I buy won’t just die in the corner, untouched by the city lights and love. I’ll go to a place where the world has no sky, where there is no concern related to love because love is just a synonym of fear.

I’ll visit a place where my heart is not a paradox that exists and becomes extinct at the same time. I’ll be at the place where I am alive but not in my head, doing a waltz with the boy with whom I am in unrequited dalliance. A place where there won’t be any eyes waiting for me at the end of the horizon and promising me an eternity, because I know already they would be lying. A place where a gust of autumn wind won’t touch the corners of my impious wound that I’ve left untouched for the last five summers.

I'll do whatever. I want to be alone. My self will be my only companion, and that is the only thing I will need. I'll create memories only my mind will remember. I'll meet strangers and I will tell them my deepest secrets and share my biggest fears without any hints of hesitation. I'll leave every place with a part of me. I will slowly recognise the face of myself and the sound of happiness. I'll find solitude as my blanket and tranquillity as my home. I will learn to love and forgive myself for the things i have done to myself. And will be free from the world and my past. The days won't be bad after all. I will get lost because only then will I find myself. Maybe that time, I will smell like flowers, decomposed by the grief, building a home out of abandoned hearts, making me sell stories for validation.
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