Waffle House at 3am

"What is a best friend?" Says my younger self.

Well honey, Its's someone, anyone who makes you feel weightless when you're around them, when they're on the phone with you, or even when you think about them."

"Woah! cool! Do we have someone like that?"

"Yes. We do."

"Well?! Who are they?! What are they like?! Are they just as cool as us?!O.m.g. Nas I-"

"Ok, slow down sweetie, dont worry, you"ll meet them with time. What you need to worry about is your dreams and the world you want to create."

"YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME ON A CLIFFHANGER LIKE THAT! I HAVE QUESTIONS LADY!"

"Ok ok.. I can answer... some, so ask wisely."

"Ok, are they a boy or a girl?" Kaira, my younger self says with her fingers crossed and wide eyes.

" A boy."

"EW! What the heck Nas boys are SO gross and NOT best friend worthy! They're accessory's if anything!" She flips her hair and looks far away.

"They're aren't they." I say with amusement.

"And all boys do is hurt your feelings and leave the toilet seat up and-"

"Here you go ladies. Enjoy!" The waitress says as she comes with our food.

" See Nas, that's what boys do! They come with their baggage and then leave you WITH said baggage! Why would you let a boy, A BOY be our best friend!?" She exclaims with bacon sticking out of her mouth.

"You know, we went vegan almost 5 years."

"..."

"..."

We both look at each other in silence.

"There is one thing i want you to know about your future best friend."

" Oh more disappointing information?! This night just keeps getting better and better."

"....Anyways, i want you to promise me to always and i mean NEVER stop taking care of this (points at Kaira's heart), not everyone is worthy of the love we give ourselves. Protect it always until someone is ready to share it too. Your best friend is going to have his "hermit" moments where like everyone we require alone time. Instead of worrying and thinking you'll never see him again-"

"Wait, again?!"

"Take these moments to understand that he is ok, and give your heart EXTRA love, and yourself the understanding you're giving him. Remember he will come back fresh and renewed, and that life moves on with or without him."

"Sounds lovely." With a roll of her eyes and a belch.

"I would say beggars can't be choosers, but you're never settling having a best friend. That's relationship territory."

"Ugh!"

"UGH!"

"Wait. If i'm a girl and he's a boy and were "best friends" and with my knowledge about them, wouldn't that just be a relationship."

"Was that a statement or a question?"

"..."

"Ok ok, truth is...We haven't gotten over our fear of relationships."

"Why did you whisper "relationsh-"

"Shh! Keep your voice down!"

"OMG, We're gonna stay lame forever?!" Her head falls onto the table in defeat.

"The good thing is our sass never leaves" Nas says with jazz hands.

"Oh god! " Kaira bangs her head against the table "How're we supposed to be with someone if we're scared of the word?!"

"What are you? A doctor?!"

"ANSWER THE QUESTION LADY!" She throws toast "SCORE!" Nas rolls her eyes.

"Fine! Truth is we haven't been in a real relationship since middle school."

"Awe, cute. NOW I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER AND STOP BEING A LITTLE LAMB AND GO FALL IN LOVE!"

"Oh my god, Language."

"AH!-"

"Ok ok, alright. I always thought the tough love would be the other way around."

Kaira opens her mouth.

"But wait! You're right. But who would want to "try" and go slow with me?"

"Oh wow. She's doing the cute pouty face, far away look. And this lady is double my age. YOUR BEST FRIEND LADY! THE ONE WHO QUITE LITERALLY WANTS TO "TRY" THINGS WITH YOU!"

"Oh him? he's aight." Nas puts her chin in her palm with a bored look.

"SCREW YOUR HEAD ON CORRECTLY LADY I DONT WANT TO DIE ALONE WITH CATS IN A SHED! NOOOO!" Kaira jumps on the table and shakes Nas

"Hey! Umi is great company!"

"NOOOO! GET IT TOGETHER LADY! NOOOO!"

"Sit down! One problem he's not ready for a relationship either, and as a best friend you have to take their feelings into account."

"Awe that's soooo sweet! WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT A RELATIONSHIP?!"

"Isn't that how these things go?"

Face palm

"Ok look Nas, you guys are best friends?"

"Yes."

"And you guys have feelings for each other?"

"I think?"

"I'll take that as a yes. So why are you scared?"

"What if something goes wrong? What if we do end up in a relationship?! What if we end up hating each other?! What if im left a single mom and MY LIFE IS RUINED?!"

"Oh my god, the anxiety gets WORSE?!...And she's still going. Ok Nas! So this is your best friend. The point is that even if you guys fight you find each other again! We're not perfect! But we try. And it seems like he wants to try with you. Now it's up to you if you want to try with him even if you're scared. He is your best friend at the end of the day."

"You're right." Nas says with a sigh.

"And so what if you guys do end up in a relationship, it wont change the fact that you love each other."

"Wait how did you know that?!"

"You guys say "I love you" at the end of your phone call, when you guys are leaving each other, and when you kiss each other goodnight."

"WE DO NOT KISS EACH OTHER GOODNIGHT!!"

"You wish you did though huh?"

"SHH!...Maybe."

"HA! So you do like him! Can i see a picture?! Please please please!!!"

"Absolutely...Not! You'll know when it's time my love. All you need to do is focus on you and what you want."

"Is he cute at least?"

Very...But you wont focus on looks when you meet him, you'll be an odd pair of friends."

"Odd pair? What do you mean?"

"Turns out, he's "lame" too and falls for our amazing personality."

"And you?" Kaira says with a bored look while drinking her milkshake. "Wait, you haven't touched your food!"

"I'm your imagination hun. The food wouldn't go to the right places, trust me."

"Hm. Continue." She says while slurping.

"With what?"

"WHAT MADE YOU FALL FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND LADY!?"

"He's just so...simple. Not a bad simple but everything is so easy with him, he's not complicated and he never smothers me and gives me the space i need to think. I'm not as experienced as him when it comes to love and blah blah blah but I've never felt taken advantage of in that way. He stops when i stop and goes when i go. He's like the ocean and i'm the wind when they're in perfect harmony. He feels safe to me and I've never had that before, he's respects me and whatever decision i make and he's my best friend above everything else. I know whatever our future holds, that we'll be A ok! As cheesy as it sounds, love does conquer all."

"Hm, That's actually pretty cute. And it took you almost 2 years to come up with this conclusion?" Kaira gave me THAT stare

"(Shrugs) Part of me wants to write poem after poem about him, but again we have to take care of ourselves during these times."

"Oh! his "hermit" moments?" Kaira says with air quotes.

"Yes...."hermit" moments." Nas looks down in solemn.

"Are you sure you're ok with this? I mean ghosting of any kind doesn't feel good. Have you talked to him about it?"

"A little bit yes. The first time he left i didn't hear back from him until an entire year later. During that there would be these random moments where i would think about him. I went to a tarot reader that i've been going to and trusted and she said that i was just picking up on his emotions and that we would propably never cross paths again. I was pretty bummed out but understood since its been so long and we lived in different parts of the city. Then out of nowhere he pops up again like nothing happened, i thought to myself "What. The. Hell." Whenever he goes ghost I think its because he's working on himself and needs alone time and comes back with a fresh persona, it still makes me sad since I truly enjoy our friendship and conversations. After so long he came back like a new person and it still completely surprises me, i don't know how he does it but he finds a way. He doesn't think he's cool but here i am writing a story about how much i value him so he's pretty alright in our book."

" Wow. Isn't that like fate or something?"

"(Shrugs) I don't know man. You know honey, we have our whole lives to find our other half. Do you really think he could be the one?"

"I DON'T WANT TO DIE ALONE WITH CATS, IF YOU DON'T AT LEAST TRY WITH THIS MAN, SO HELP ME-!"

" I thought you didn't like boys?" Nas says with a smug smirk.

"...RELATIONSH-"

"SHHHHH! OK FINE!"

" I can't believe we're almost 20 and STILL single! Oh wait, we're LAMMMEEE!"

" Hey! Being single isn't as bad as you think it is. It teaches you independency, self-love, and resilience. What did i tell you about protecting your heart? While yes (she whispers) "relationships" are great in their own way, sadly Nastasiya we don't grow up with the best role models when it comes to love and relationships. We have a very warped view of love and what "being in love" looks like."

"Mom and dad?"

"Mom and dad." We both sigh.

"Do they talk to each other?"

"Now? No honey, but I do think that's for the best. It takes two to tango in a relationship and it has nothing to do with you or your siblings. It's going to be very hard for you to understand and walk away from toxic situations. Thankfully no we're spotting them better and have more stable ground with our self-esteem, we're a bright light Nastasiya and there will be ALOT of people that will try to take away froom us. I know it sounds scary but never dim that light, there will be people in your future that will cherish and nuture your light but it will be hard to find them until you get rid of the darkness. Think of it like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. After that year when we were back in contact with our best friend we had a lot of darkness and dark people around us. I left my job with a lot of coworkers that didn't have our best interest in mind, and realized we were using material things to make us happy. We needed a tower moment."

"...And what do we do now?"

"Love. Nothing matters if we don't have love. Love yourself unconditionally. You can't show up for the ones you love if you can show up for yourself. Love other people unconditionally. The light we have is something very special, and while yes not everyone deserves to have a slice of it, you will always shine brighter than the assholes that try to block it. Always remember my love, the people that truly love you and care about you will nurture that bright light and always want you to show it off, even if it's brighter than theirs."

"Oh my god. I guess we're pretty cool." Kaira says between sobs and jumps out of her side of the booth to hug Nas.

"I want you to pinky swear to me, Nastasiya."

"I pinky swear, Nastasiya."

They lock pinky's and continue hugging until 10 year old Nastasiya wakes up from her dream.

The End.