Unclichéd reasons for a healthy ( almost!) adult female to decline Motherhood

As a hopeful writer, the best advice(and only)I have picked up is to write about things I know. I may not have the plot for the thriller-romcom I want as my debut novel, but I’ve long known I would never choose motherhood.

When & Why?

For reasons unknown to me, people seem unable to comprehend why I’d make this “bold” choice. But truthfully, I never had that one epiphany. There was no moment where I sat down and thought, “Yeah, motherhood, let’s do this.” I didn’t spend my time picking baby names with my exes (Gen Z, if you’re reading this, Bollywood might’ve made it a thing, but I trust your hobbies are cooler now). And I never once saw a mom and thought, “I want that.”

The Why List Could Go On…

Apparently, “selfish” is the first label I’m supposed to slap on myself as a woman. But since I have spent the majority of my life rebelling against norms ( I’ve been taught not to start sentences with a coordinating conjunction “but” here I am) I’m fine with it.

And honestly, I don’t get the guilt I’m supposed to feel for accepting that. I’m privileged enough to say it: I will always prioritize myself. I refuse to half-ass relationships, tasks, or obligations because society says I should. (Seriously, whose expectations are we even following here? Millennials, you hear me?)

Honestly, the number of times I have sidetracked into some parallel conversation is not even funny ( well a little I Hope — I am still a needy person trying to recover from generational people-pleasing syndrome).

If You’re Still Here, Let Me Drop Some Truth:

Here’s a list of things that matter more to me than…well, you know:

Coffee

Alcohol

Money ( The massive amounts of funds needed for pre, during, post, and life-time)

Peace of mind

The colossal responsibility of raising a tiny human with a potentially weird personality, along with their inevitable stupid life choices

One less person to disappoint, or be disappointed by

Not contributing to the dumpster fire that is our planet’s dwindling resources

And most importantly: the relief of not being responsible for creating the next sociopath

You might argue that I’ve got a bit of a pessimistic view. Well…I do. And whose fault is that? (IYKYK)

We were raised on a steady diet of “you can have it all” but quickly learned that “all” came with student loan crises, inflated rent, and existential dread. So yeah, deciding to skip parenthood feels like a win in the long game of adulting. Why bring a kid into this world when you’re still trying to figure out if you’re a plant parent or a dog parent?

Gen Z, you legends, you’ve already cracked the code. You’ve mastered the art of saying “nope, not for me” to just about everything that doesn’t align with your vision of a life lived on your terms. I know you’re already rolling your eyes at the “bold decision” label because duh, you’ve been curating a kid-free life plan on your VSCO since age 14. You don’t even need my reasoning — you’ve already got a Pinterest board titled “Life Without Kids” next to “How to Avoid Burnout by 25.”

“Lastly, I’m not about to waste my precious vacation days at Disney World (or is it Disneyland? I’m from a third-world, brown middle-class world, y’all)