Starting At the Beginning

Author's Note: Two recommendations from others for the fiction story I am writing include a murder and a murder suicide.

Anne Bernays and Pamela Painter — What If? Writing Exercises for Fiction Writers prompts —

The Excercise: This one is in two parts. First experiment with different types of openings for different stories until you feel comfortable with the technique of each. Then see how many ways there are to open on a particular story you have in mind. How does the story change when the opening changes from a generalization to a line of dialogue?

1. Opening with a generalization

She is sitting there, minding her own business, when a stretcher comes in through the emergency room door. She is there with her mother, who was having a gall bladder problem.

They heard someone say that the woman on the stretcher had been shot, and there was a man on the way who had a self-inflicted gunshot wound. They heard the medic say, I think it was an attempted murder-suicide, but don't quote me.

~

On our way home we talked about how Mom would need surgery on her gallbladder eventually. It wasn't urgent but it is giving her trouble and it is happening more often.

When we get home, dad comes out to greet us and we can tell there is something wrong. He quickly says we need to return to the hospital as Sarah, my sister was just shot and is at the hospital.

2. Opening with lines of dialogue:

Who do we have here? asked the intake person. The paramedic said, "One man and one woman, we believe the man shot the woman, and then he shot himself. We think both will survive."

Take them right into rooms 2 & 3. Right then, the double doors move open, and the paramedics thank the intake person, then quickly move their patients into the assigned rooms while emergency medical staff move quickly to each room.

~

The nurse callled out to the intake area. "Can someone call their families?" After a few minutes the intake staff brought the message to the nurse, "The Dad said his wife and daughter are at the hospital emergency room. They must have just left already! We did go and check to be sure."

"The dad says they will be right back if they can. Depending on how his wife is doing."

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This is two simple starts to the story about the murder-suicide.