Sounding Real When Writing Fiction

Anne Bernays and Pamela Painter — What if? Writing Exercises for Fiction Writers prompts —

The Exercise —

Observe how the speech fragments below convey a sense of accent or national, regional, race, class, or cultural distinctions mainly through word choice and arrangement. Easily understood foreign words or names can help, too. What do these fragments suggest about the individual speakers by conveying the flavor of their speech?

The Objective —

In this case, it is threefold: to help reveal character, to convince your reader by making your dialogue sound credible, and to add variety. Differences in speech aren’t just realistic; they’re interesting and provocative, and they can give vitality to your story. Speech without flavor is like food without savor.

1. “My mama dead. She die screaming and cussing.” Alice Walker, The Color Purple

African American, based on the author and book/movie, wording, not as familiar with English as someone from the upper class or educated beyond early grades.

2. “ ‘I won’t keep you,’ I says. ‘You must get a job for yourself.’ But, sure, it’s worse whenever he gets a job; he drinks it all.” James Joyce, “Ivy Day in the Committee Room”

Lower class. southern accent. (I says.) Chances are, they are struggling to survive when the husband is drinking up all of his pay.

3. All in all, Harry Laines’ wedding was one of the worst events in my experience, tragic in society. Nancy Lemann, Lives of the Saints

Upper class, high society standing, possibly from northern states.

4. “Muy buenos,” I said. “Is there an Englishwoman here? I would like to see this English lady.”

“Muy buenos. Yes, there is a female English.” Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises

Spanish-speaking person, maybe in a place where English people would not be. Not as familiar with English, but speaking with someone who is English-speaking.

5. “… the working mens one Sunday afternoon taking they only time off. They laying around drinking some moonshine, smoking the hemp, having a cock fight.” Peter Leach, “The Convict’s Tale”

Now write five of your own speech fragments.

“Uffda, this is a tough one.”

1. We were playing duck, duck, greyduck at the wedding with the kids. They served tator tot hotdish, and pop. Everyone was practicing Minnesota nice.

2. Can you and John come over to play crib? We want to get ready for the next crib tournament at the club. Don’t want to get skunked, ya know.

3. The snowbirds are getting ready to head out. The snow fences are going up, and the lawnmowers are getting put away until summer.

4. Do you know you are considered a ranger only if you were born here? It doesn’t matter if you lived here your entire life! Hockey tournaments are like holidays here. Some whole communities leave to support their hockey players on the range.

And for basketball, this holds true for Red Lake. They follow their basketball players when they go out of town.

5. “Howwah! You put out your green glass dishes for us meal? Nahbahsah green dishes!” said Auntie Lois.