Ruining my self.

“Not wanting to live” Does that remind you of anything you haven’t felt before?

The days go by just like the blink of an eye.You are drowning in thoughts everyday not knowing how to stop thinking.

Everything felt okay but just for a couple of minutes before your head crashes into a million pieces again.

You live with it.Every single day and night you live with it.

You fall into a state of depression and your anxiety kicks in like getting punched in the face.

If only you could erase everything.But what’s there to even lose at this point.

Your temper rises as you deal with it alone.Anger rages upon you and people seem to be the cause.

Feeling less of yourself.You try to pick yourself up together but the storm isn’t yet over.

Scared.You became distant and non interactions mean Peace to you.

Diving into your thoughts you find another new set of unflattering memories .Your rage and anger kicks in again.

Cried yourself to sleep every night.You asked God if there is any meaning of your existence.

Slowly you dislike everyone including your own family.

You grew old but your brain still processed everything from your past, giving you a hard time for your future self.

Sitting alone in your own space, you find silence to be the key but the silence can’t stop your mind.

You try your best to forget the past but it feels impossible and hopeless.

You turn around for support but all the judgement in the world falls into you.

Turning away from yourself and hating on yourself even deeper where people can’t even see.

You dreamt about crying but doing it so in reality.You tried getting over it but thoughts rushed in like a burst of volcano.

Is this going to stop?Am I going to enjoy my LIFE! Trying to think positive makes everything worst.

You don’t even know yourself anymore.You hide the pain but the pain is irresistible.

Your mood changes from the very hyper child to a person that has zero interest in anything.

You have breakdowns almost the entire day and no one really notices because you are a master of disguise.

Eventually you became tired and you tried to end it all.

You thought to yourself if it’s the best option or satan is just using you.

Everyday just seems like another sad and terrifying day for you because all you think of is nothing but hatred among yourself.

You don’t have friends anymore or anyone closest to you but yourself to figure everything out.

Do you really have a purpose?