Prose to Show

I had no idea what kind of response my unofficial challenge would have, but I knew February would be sentimental rhyme-heavy, and some of us need breaks from all of that cloying sweetness, especially those who are heartbroken.

My diligent participants all took the worst day option, although Mikey was especially resistant to the prose form (initially tried to sneak in an illegal rhyme, but I let him off with a warning), and Meredith’s also leans more towards verse than prose.

I had four entries (not bad for the new gal on the block). These are they (yes, that’s grammatically correct. Look up subject complement in your Strunk&White if you don’t believe me.):

In this one, that lovable rascal, Paul Stewart took the brave route and shared his worst day with us.

Meredith Harmon was equally brave in this devastatingly beautiful piece (also a top story). In my opinion, it’s free verse rather than prose about a goodbye that arrived too soon. Yes, it has a bit of rhyme, some of that beautiful, best-of-the-best internal rhyme that lands in exactly the right place, resonating beautifully—“smashed and crashed” is the epitome of effective rhyme. The end sound of the internal rhyme is “ash” —which is a death echo, spot-on in an elegy. Chef’s kiss for perfection here. “Will you, nil you” is equally exquisite, rhyming ill, bringing will into negation. This is sophisticated rhyming, and forced end rhyme can’t hold a candle to it. There may be a prize for sneaking in rhyme that justifies itself.

Marilyn Glover takes readers into the hellscape of quitting smoking in this atmospherically charged piece. I, too, am in this process and felt my own ignorant willfulness and cold fingers. If you know anyone on this excruciating journey, recommend this piece to them ( before summer arrives). Incredibly well-crafted and disciplined, which leads me to believe that she will succeed on her quest to become an ex-smoker.

Mike Singleton, beloved Vocal mentor and art, music, and history aficiando, takes an abstract approach at the challenge, probably because the days of frustration that fueled this piece all felt like an enormous eternal February of the same bad day. Bonus points for excellent use of “Jericho” giving me echoes of my favorite Dreams So Real song:

Rejoice, for it seems the problem has been solved! Here’s a link to Mike’s latest top story:

So who is the winner? It’s Paul Stewart who earned a link to The Luxury Travel Expert’s Maldives resort videos, right here on this page (check with him about penalties for unauthorized clicking)

What made Paul’s stand out? First, he adopted a Hobbesian deontological attitude toward my rules, giving him an edge over Meredith and Mikey. Next, I felt every atom of that intensely silent settling of grief into his heart in the marrow of my bones. He did this by using absence as a presence, an utter ignorance of his sensory perceptions in the midst of this dreadful realization that was so heavy it slammed the door on external stimuli, leading my soul to sing out Eliot, Bishop, and Pound. Further, the way he fully embraced the prose form gave him license to linger, but he didn’t abuse it.

Paul wins challenges because he understands them and approaches each one individually, bringing diversity of form, voice, and style. He’s an athletic poet, limber as a gymnast and faster than Usain Bolt when the situation calls for it. Pacing is one place where he always shines, and his love and understanding of language are evident in his work.

All entrants put forth engaging pieces, each with its own strengths.

I’m still teaching my rock how to sign her name, but she’s having trouble holding the pen. Please do not report me for forgery if I cave and sign for her to fulfill my promise, as I am her attorney-in-fact and it’s perfectly legal, regardless of authenticity.

If you want to get dirty in my rhyming sandbox, come on over to my limerick challenge: