November Rejections

I’ve gone through so many droughts of success when it comes to my writing career, it’s a parched business trying to get published. I’ve gotten turned down so many times in a row, whether it be attempts at getting a story published or having entered a script in a contest, and then I’d get good news! Getting published or moving on in a contest! And that’s the way it always goes. Dozens of rejections, one success. And it’s all worth it. And it would feel tough through all those rejections, but then I’d get that one success and I’d gain perspective. I kept fighting through and finally achieved something that I wanted to.

It’s happened many times before. And this November felt no different. It had been a while since I had had a success with writing. I was constantly submitting everywhere, because the more I submit, the better my chances. I knew that, but I also knew that meant I had to prepare for tons of rejections. And it started to feel like the rocks were tumbling off the top of the mountain before November started… was an avalanche approaching?

A contest that I had entered was supposed to post the results of the first round in late October but then had to delay them as they were still going through them. I felt really good about that one and had entered two stories into it, but I’d just have to wait a few more weeks. The day finally came, November 13th, the day they promised that they’d announce the results of the quarterfinalists. Nothing. I kept checking. Believe me, I checked a lot. All throughout the day. No notifications at all, and often I’d hear back before noon on these contests. 3 P.M. 4 P.M. 5 P.M. Le sigh. Was it a sign? Did they only notify the winners? Was it time to let it go? Move on?

The next morning came around and they apologized, they needed a few more days. November 18th was the new day for the announcement. Alright. I’d wait. What other choice did I have? And then later that day, an email from a different story I submitted.

A rejection. Le sigh even Le Harder. Oh well. It happens. A lot.

And then the next day rolled around, November 15th. I’d remember this day for a while.

An email notification! Turned down by another publication. Hours later, another email notification! Turned down by another publication. An hour later, remember that contest you entered your manuscript into? Turned down. Hey but wait, another short story submitted to a publica— let me stop me right there… turned down.

Four in one day. A new record for me. I’d never endured such ego bruising. If I were a football player it would say “Doubtful to return to play” next to my name. That was a rough day. I suppose the timing doesn’t really matter so much, it’s all a coincidence, but I do wish they could’ve spread out their rejections for me.

I updated my sheet where I tracked all my submissions and moved on, kept working on my projects. That what had to be done. Monday rolled around, November 18th. I was busy with quite a few things, only checking email occasionally. It was past noon, no notifications from the contest. And I had already dealt with two delays, two times I got my hopes up, and now a third time. And I just put it out of my head. Whatever. I’d hear when I’d hear. I went about my day.

I saw 5 P.M. and figured there was no way I’d be hearing back from them today. Likely tomorrow morning. Who knew? Maybe it would be another delay.

I was watching TV and it was almost 9, when I happened to check my email, and wait, a late night notification! From the contest! An email for each story that I submitted!

It’s one of those moments, right? Where you just keep getting knocked around over and over, rejection after rejection. That one thing you were really excited for, the one you were most excited for, it eventually got pushed to the back of your mind and you forgot about it. You were going about your business, not fixated on whether you’d succeed or not, and then the notification surprised you when it came in. I remember thinking, how dramatic. What a story-like series of events. What a movie-like ending.

I opened the emails. And each story got turned down. Neither would advance in the contest.

Well, what the hell.

A lot of times I have these moments, dozens of rejections piling up, and then I have the one success, and it’s my learning moment to not get down, because I just have to keep trying and eventually it will pay off. This wasn’t that. This was just another rejection. What a bummer, right? Where’s the happy ending?

There was no happy ending. Not at this moment, anyway. This wasn’t a movie. This was my life, the life of a writer. This was just a common occurrence in my life and in the life of all writers trying to make it.

I led myself to believe, for whatever reason, that I was going to get some positive news in this instance. That I was going to have one of my successes that reminded me that all the rejection is worth it. I didn’t. But that doesn’t mean the rejections aren’t still all worth it. That doesn’t mean it’s not worth it to keep submitting to everything under the sun. I could still learn the same lesson. Just keep trying. Just keep submitting. I think I had just tricked myself into thinking this was the end of the movie, not realizing it was a two-parter. I endured two hours of a hero’s journey, but there’s still another two hours left in Part 2. I just hope it won’t be a trilogy. But it’s probably an important lesson for me. I can’t just hope for these great successes to come around and plan on them arriving, because in the life of a writer, you’re going to get let down if you do that. If it feels like I haven’t had a win in a while and I’m due for one… it doesn’t mean I’m owed one. I don’t get a success just because I want one. And honestly, none of these rejections mean anything, besides the fact that I am trying, that I am grinding, that I am doing exactly what I need to keep doing.

I can look at it two different ways. Here’s the negative way to look at it. I have submitted work 238 different times just to get it turned down. That’s a lot.

Here’s the positive way to look at it. There’s been another 9 times I’ve submitted work to either move on to a second round, get shortlisted, be a semifinalist, or make a top 50. And another 7 times I’ve been published.

It’s actually these latter numbers that matter. The problem is, the former number grows so large that it is quite the heavy ego bruiser. It just comes with the territory. And in November, that number sure gained a lot of weight.

There’s no happy ending with this story. But there’s still a lesson learned. Because at some point, I’ll notch another win. I have no idea when. But I know it will come, because I am ensuring that by continuing with the grind. The only way I could ensure I don’t get another success would be by giving up. And I’m never doing that.