Imagine That

Have you ever felt trapped? Because I have. And I’m not talking about the time I got trapped in an elevator. Twice. No, not the same elevator, don’t worry, I’m not that self-destructive. I’m not even talking about the time I got stuck on a balcony, ten stories in the sky, because that’s a whole other story. I’m talking about the feeling of claustrophobia. I’m talking about depression. That’s how I felt when I dropped out of university at 19.

I don’t know if you ever dropped out of university with depression, but I can tell you it’s not great. It felt like my life had fallen apart. I had no plan B to fall back on and no idea what to do with my life.

I was stuck.

Now imagine that feeling of being stuck somewhere you can’t get out of. Trapped with no control over the outcome. Imagine being trapped inside your own thoughts 24 hours a day. Your emotions clawing at the surface, trying to get out, but you’re too ashamed to show weakness. Imagine being so desperate for help but unable to ask for it. Imagine being surrounded by people but feeling alone. Imagine walking through life in a haze of vibrations. Anger, frustration and sadness constantly buzzing beneath the surface. Itching beneath the skin like a rash you can’t shake. Imagine being afraid of interactions with other people because, at any moment, you might break down into tears and never stop.

That’s depression.

I told you it sucks. Like, really. And you have no idea how long it’s going to last. Negative thoughts take over your mind like a drunk driver. It feels like you’re losing control and heading for disaster. It felt like everything I did to try and change it was doomed to fail. Whenever I tried to enjoy myself, there was this feeling in the back of my mind saying, “You don’t deserve to be happy.”

Every laugh was stifled; every smile faltered.

…but nothing lasts forever. Not even the bad times. Despite what we tell ourselves.

One day, whilst feeling trapped in my dead-end job, something unexpected happened. Out of the blue, I was offered the chance to go skydiving to raise money for charity. I couldn’t believe it. I thought it was a joke, but it wasn’t. It was a chance for me to escape my life and make a positive impact on the world. Even if just for a day. Skydiving was one of my big five dreams. So, I had to do it. I didn’t even hesitate. The only catch was that I had to raise a minimum of £250, which was a lot of money for me back then. I didn’t have many friends, and they didn’t have much money either. But this was the chance of a lifetime. So, I dug into my savings to fill the gap because what are savings for if not to enjoy life?

Back then, I used to spend all my money on DVDs just so I could silence the thoughts in my head for a few hours and escape to some place new. But it was never enough.

Sometimes, when your brain won’t shut up, you have to shock it into submission. Expose it to an experience it wasn’t expecting, like jumping out of a perfectly good aeroplane at 10,000 feet.

The universe didn’t make it easy for me. For several weeks, I had to wake up early and drive all the way to the airfield, only for bad weather to call off the jump. By the 4th attempt, I had started to believe it was never going to happen. The sky was dark, the clouds were grey, and the negative thoughts were circling. I arrived on site, expecting the jump to be cancelled yet again. But this time, they told me to wait. So, I did, but I was struggling to hold onto hope. And then they called my name.

It was now or never.

Before I knew it, I was boarding the single-propeller aeroplane strapped to some guy I’d just met, straddling a wooden bench, making our ascent into the clouds. For a brief second, I questioned why we didn’t have seatbelts, and then they opened the door.

It was time.

As I sat there on the edge of the plane, my feet dangling above the clouds, I made a promise to myself to keep my eyes open and look down.

And then we fell.

It’s hard to describe freefalling from the sky, but it’s a bit like a vertical drop on a rollercoaster, just a little bit bigger. The air hits you like a slap to the face, and the clouds prickle your skin with icy rain whilst travelling at speeds of up to 120 mph. Your cheeks touch your ears, and you look like a dog sticking its head out of a moving vehicle.

I’ve never felt more alive.

But it’s after the rush that the magic happens when they pull the cord to the parachute, and you lurch back into the sky. You get struck with this instant sense of calm. The world falls silent, and you can no longer hear your own thoughts. All the self-doubt, fears, and insecurities fade away, and all you can hear is silence.

And it’s beautiful.

I could see for miles. Wildland and farmers’ fields intertwined like nature’s tapestry. I was in awe. I felt free. And then the greatest thing happened: the instructor handed me the reins. I pulled us left and swung us right, enjoying the freedom of the sky. I finally felt in control of my life, and I loved it. I loved it so much that we were the first ones to jump but the last ones to land.

The whole thing may have been over in less than ten minutes, but the experience has never left me. It changed the way I see the world. No matter how hard things get, I always make sure that I have something to aim for. I make living my priority. Everything else doesn’t matter, not in the way that it used to.

On that day, I reminded myself of what it’s like to feel alive. When life gets hard, it’s easy to forget what that feels like. Sometimes, we need to shock ourselves into living.

So, what are you waiting for?

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© Simon George 2025. All Rights Reserved.

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