His Love

"Good morning Trist, my name is Dr. Reda and today I will be asking you a couple questions," a woman with long auburn hair sits across from the table. The cool touch of the table legs brush against my thigh as I lean back into my chair. I nod at her to continue, folding my hands onto my lap and start twiddling my thumbs.

"So, first off," she starts as she adjusts her glasses. "Tell me about this man you keep talking about. Why is he so important to you?" I glance at her with my head bowed. I try to see whether or not she would judge me. I fold both of my hands, intertwining my fingers together.

"Well," I start, swallowing my saliva to wet my parched throat. "He is someone important because He loves me, and you too," I glance again for a reaction.

"What do you mean he loves me too? I don't even know him," Dr. Reda said startled.

"You may not know Him, but He knows you and He does indeed love you." I giggle a little since she didn't seem to understand.

"Okay, so what do you mean by that? And how would a man I don't even know love me or know me?" Dr. Reda continued, trying to probe me and feigning interest.

"Well what do you know about love?" I asked her back.

"Love is give and take and a mutual agreement between two peoples." She said as a matter of fact like. "What else would it be?"

"Well true love isn't self-serving, true love is...." I glance at her again and brush my hair over my ear. I lean forward onto the table, my elbows freezing upon the slightest impact from the hard ceramic surface. "Self-sacrificial."

"That doesn't make sense at all," Dr. Reda said. "That sounds more like abuse, manipulation and gas lighting." She said sternly.

"Well, if that's what you think then you're wrong," I shrug. "True love comes from the decision to keep loving someone despite their wrongs; to wish the best for them and to help them and support them. To nurture, care and at the cost of yourself, to prioritize them." I pause before continuing, "Obviously not to the point of self harm," I look her over and see she has much to say.

"Okay, but who is this man? That loves you and I so?" She continues, I notice she started tapping on her notebook and stopped writing.

"He loves us so much that He died for us." I started.

"Hold on, this man is dead?" Dr. Reda interrupted,

"Well, he rose again on the third day and lives in us through the Holy Spirit--"

"Wait are you talking about the biblical figure Jesus?" Dr. Reda scoffed.

I sigh, "Yes, but He is real and so is His love for us, so much so He died for our sins on the cross." I lean back into my seat, "Once you understand His great love then you will become anew, like me."

"Then why are you here Trist? Why are you in a mental ward?" Dr. Reda asked, "Are you here to convert people?"

"I'm here for the help that God provided those the ability to do, since I have my own problems. My sharing my faith and God's love is irrelevant." I say tilting my head, "I'm sure you are here for that reason as well, to hear me tell you about it." I smile.

Dr. Reda pushes her seat back with a sigh, "I'm sure we will have a lot to discuss moving forward but we have run out of time for our session." She reaches over the table and extends a hand to me, "It was nice meeting you Trist." As I reach over to shake her hand, an overwhelming feeling came over me to hug her. In a big warm embrace the words flowed from my mouth, "You are forgiven," A warm moist feeling touches my shoulder and I too begin to weep as Dr. Reda trembles in my arms.