Exaggerate Or Embellish Stories, Advice From An Older Person, Influencing Others

Gregory Stock, Ph.D. The Book of Questions prompts — When you tell a story, do you often exaggerate or embellish it? Why or why not?

Once upon a time, I was much better at exaggerating and embellishing stories. Since recovery, it is important for me to work an honesty program. Meaning that when I start to embellish or exaggerate, I have to start over. I say, "No, it goes like this ..." Basically, it is about correcting myself as soon as I can and starting over. It is way less now than it was in my 20s and 30s.

A long time ago, growing up there was a story for almost everything. When you come from an oral tradition, it is common to hear stories. I have always considered myself a not so good storyteller as I remember many stories I heard growing up but in a shorthand version.

Many storytellers I have heard in my lifetime. My cousin and a few friends are storytellers, and their stories come complete with exaggeration and embellishment, which may include acting and singing and really giving the audience a picture of what the story characters look and sound like.

Gregory Stock, Ph.D. The Book of Questions prompts — Do you feel that advice from older people carries a special weight because of their greater experience?

Yes and no. In my culture, there are elders and old people. I was taught to respect all people and to pay special attention to elders for their greater experience and knowledge.

Later in life, I was told that there are elders and old people. Listen to your elders. Some say there are even baby elders, meaning that there are wise people of all ages, and things we can learn from almost anyone. Don't ignore them because they are not yet in their elder years.

Those beginning in their 50s, actually by age fifty-five, are when many are considered elders in my culture. Some say baby elders. My friend said that when they were netting fish and giving the fish to elders, the baby elders may not want the fish unless it was already filleted. She would say, "Oh, those baby elders!"

Gregory Stock, Ph.D. The Book of Questions prompts — Do your comments and suggestions influence other people much? How could you present your ideas so they would have more impact?

Because I have been in recovery since 1978, many others in recovery think I have more to share than some others. Then some can care less about listening to an old woman. Many of those are outside my culture or haven't been socialized in the culture.

There have been many times others in recovery have said to me, "I will never forget when you said... It made such a difference for me. Thank you." And similar comments. I always want to add that most of what I say is not original. I read it or heard it from a wise man or woman. I was taught to just say Miigwech/thank you, from one of those wise ones.

When sponsoring others in recovery, it is important for me to guide without directing or telling others what to do, only sharing my "experience, strength and hope", or so the saying goes. In that way they can "take what they like and leave the rest".