DREAMS

My Dream

Having a dream is one of the most beautiful things one can have. Another thing is trying to achieve it when it’s not coming to life because adulthood is different from that 8-year-old girl who wants to be a model and everyone says she will be the next Naomi Campbell.

Should I just give up because the rejection is so hurtful? My friends keep telling me about Abraham Lincoln, who failed so many times but later became president, but I’m not Abraham Lincoln. The rejection is breaking me into pieces; I broke down, and it’s affecting my mental health.

I’m tired. I exercise to stay full. It may seem crazy, but sometimes I starve myself. I’m getting old. I can’t help it, but I cry. Everyone seems to get a modelling contract every day. I have a friend who does not want to be a model. We went for casting together, and now she has been signed and is the star of the show. I can’t help being sad. I know I’m supposed to be happy for her, but I just have this sad feeling in me, saying this could have been you.

I’m slowly trying to do other things these days to get my mind off these model rejections, and I’m coming to the decision that if it’s meant to be, it will be for real because I don’t see it happening anymore. I usually get rejected because of my height. I’m 5'7" and my friend is still 5'7, so this model thing is not meant for me, and the other things I have started doing are going well for me slowly, but I’m happy seeing my clothes, which I made with all my heart for someone and with good reviews, make me so happy.

Maybe one day I will walk on that stage, not as a model but as a designer, which makes me very happy anytime I think of it. Some people are still saying it’s not too late and I should continue, but I don’t want to; actually, it’s better this way. Not all dreams are meant to come true.

It has been months since I made this decision. I have gained weight,I feel so happy, I’m eating healthy, and I'm doing well mentally and physically. I’m like a different person; maybe in the future I will go for other things in life, and from this I have learned that not everything is meant to be, and if it doesn’t want you, just leave; it’s better than crying over and over again. I know my 8-year-old self will understand my decision.

I held my first fashion show ever yesterday, and it’s all that I imagined and more. I have never been more happy or nervous. My mom was there, and my siblings and friends were all there. I know they are more happy because they know how far I have come. This may not be my first dream, but this is the dream that has brought me more joy and happiness than being a model.

The show was a success. I saw my models everywhere and my picture too, and yes, I cried because if I had not made that decision, I would not have come this far. A lot of people called me to say congratulations because my show aired on TV and the news carried it and called it “the amazing new thing." I will love to continue with my fashion career and see how it goes from now on. So far, this may be one of the best decisions I have ever made.