Building Romantic Tension with Banter and Barriers

“There’s nothing like a razor-sharp insult hiding a half-formed confession.”

Banter, the dialogue that, when written right, has us giggling like children or smirking likes villains. It is also one of the key components that writers use to build that slow-burning tension in any enemies-to-lovers story. It’s witty, it’s sassy, it’s conversation charged to the brim with chemistry, highlighting the characters’ strong personalities, with double focus on the friction between them. That delicious friction that we can see, yet they are blissfully unaware of at the beginning.

Where banter is important, so are emotional barriers. These can be a variety of things, like past hurt, trauma, self-doubt, rivalry, etc. There are also physical obstacles that can be put in place, like forced proximity or external conflicts, which I covered in a previous article.

All of these can force characters into a situation in which they must confront their vulnerabilities, as well as deepening their connection. And when we combine these elements, we create a slow, satisfying burn in which every interaction between the characters feels charged with potential.

🗣️ Banter as a Shield (and a Spark)

One thing that I love about banter in an enemies-to-lovers dynamic is that it isn’t just about witty dialogue and sassy comebacks, it also works perfectly as camouflage. With their clever remarks, witty jabs, and full on sarcasm, characters can test the boundaries of others without showing just how much they care. That stays hidden.

Banter gives them a space where they feel in control, where they can flirt without showing vulnerability (or being vulnerable), and, even more importantly, it is a shield that prevents them from directly facing their growing feelings for their rival. A win-win if you ask me.

When banter is written well, it becomes a layered tool for authors to use. On the surface, readers can see humour and rivalry but, beneath all of that, it’s tension, attraction and the overpowering feeling of discomfort that the character has because they know they want something that they have no business wanting.

One of the things I love about this, as time goes on and the banter gets better and more frequent, is the truth, or snippets of it, tend to slip out. This could be a joke that cuts just a bit too deep, or a quip that hides the desperate need to be seen… This is what grabs a reader’s interest. It’s that mask that has slipped just enough to reveal what is underneath.

Writer Questions:

• What are your characters really trying to say underneath their jabs?
• When does the banter start to shift from combative to flirty?
• Are they using words to keep distance or to test intimacy?

🚧 Barriers That Prolong the Tension

As I mention above, barriers are also an important part of a good slow-burn romantasy story. There are two types of barriers, the emotional ones, and the external ones. Emotional barriers like unresolved trauma, fear of betrayal, fear of abandonment, guilt, and a long list of etcetera can make it very difficult for characters to let their guard down. These inner wounds drive their resistance to vulnerability, even when desire is simmering beneath the surface.

Then we have the external forces: class divides, feuding families, magical oaths, societal expectations, ancient curses, and another long list of etceteras that we can use. These make the romance dangerous, not just emotionally, but physically and/or socially. They raise the stakes of every lingering look and almost-touch. When written with care, these barriers don’t just delay the romance; they intensify it, making every small moment feel monumental.

Writer Questions:

• What does each character believe they would lose if they gave in?
• What external stakes raise the cost of surrendering to love?
• Are the barriers believable and personal — not just plot devices?

🔥 Combining Banter and Barriers for Maximum Effect

One thing to keep in mind is that the best romantic tension scenes don’t rely on just banter or just barriers. They mix and merge them together. You see, banter often serves as a smokescreen, a way to flirt while pretending not to care. But when it clashes against real emotional stakes… that’s when things can take an unexpectedly raw turn.

So let your characters tease each other until someone accidentally says something too honest. Let them almost touch, almost confess, only to pull back at the last moment. These push-and-pull dynamics keep readers on edge and so emotionally invested that they will want to see it through to the end. Tension thrives in that moment right before someone breaks the rules or breaks their own heart.

❌ Things You Might Want to Avoid

• Making banter repetitive with no growth.
• Using banter to cover a lack of emotional depth.
• Forcing barriers that don’t organically arise from the story.

So, make these two factors your best friends when writing your romantasy, or just romance, stories. By creating the push-pull that readers crave, you’re going to have them hanging off your every word, right until the very end. And remember, real tension isn’t just about snappy dialogue; it’s about what’s not being said.

And as always, if you liked this article, please leave me a comment below, a like, or even a follow!

Thanks for reading❤️