This was not easy to write and just like my reason for this letter, I delayed releasing it on Vocal.
Christmas is past and New years is around the corner. Deciding to go for an early morning stroll I suddenly felt smothered within the silence, wrapped in a fog of personal awaking, disguised as despair. The cool morning clung to me with desperation, as a misty rain continued to fall.
Questions dominated my thoughts, an overwhelming realization that time is passing far faster than I acknowledge. Yet, time doesn’t move any faster or slower based on a whim, no it is my time that is moving quicker than I had hoped.
Now what, how do I cope with the knowledge my chances of doing what I planned are diminishing faster than a politicians promise?
Others have done great things, others have written and published that novel that has been swirling in their head, yet I procrastinate. Drafts drawn, reworked, and set aside, never good enough to say 'complete'.
Excuses come easier than finishing the book. Why?
It dawned on me, fear. Fear of completing my work and fear that no one will enjoy it or even knows it is there, basically fear of failure is stopping me. Before Vocal I wrote stories and journals to help me cope with the stress of everyday life. I would write, read, then discard in the trash. Those written works are lost forever. It was my form of healing, coping with reality.
Now I ask, what’s next?
I once wrote a story ‘An invitation’ with a line. “She used to say there are more stories in her head than she could ever write in a lifetime.” That is based on me, my head never stops writing, every where I look a story blooms to life.
This is why Vocal appeals to me, short stories, write, edit, submit, done. A platform of willing readers ready to support. Also an unlimited list of Challenges to compete with other authors.
Easy Right?
Far from it, many creators read, others do not, the platform is large and growing. A winning entry into a challenge used to garner reads and comments. Now winners hardly get noticed. WHY?
I tried to read every winning submission, learning from them, try to break down what they did that I failed to do. Yes, luck does play a part.
Perhaps, with such a variety of artists, our personal works get lost in shear volume of material available, and good material. One day you look up from reading another of Vocal creators work and you notice your own empty page staring at you. Just one more story you tell yourself then I’ll get to mine, one turns to two, three, four…. You get the idea.
If anyone knows me, as best you can, I enjoy and will always support this platform. Vocal has become mine and probably your haven, a home away from home. Writing friends pen themselves into our lives and we welcome them with open arms.
However, I am not a quick writer, ideas and first drafts come easily enough, but the finished product eludes me more often than naught. I do not consider myself a perfectionist, but I know when a piece is ready and too often I have submitted work just to get it out there and then chastise myself. I once submitted a personal account called '27 stories and counting' about unfinished works that lay dormant in my unpublished section. I completed many, yet the number has not dwindled, it has grown. Again, not quite ready to publish (In my mind).
Why should I rush a piece? For likes, reads, acknowledgement? Hoping that I will not fade into obscurity if I don’t submit something this week. I truly am impressed with those who can submit everyday and some more than twice a day. That is not me, and at times it makes me feel like I am once again falling behind. The true question is why haven't I published them?
Taking time off helped put things in perspective. I wrote a piece for a challenge yet chose not to submit, just to see what would happen. Guess what? The deadline came and went; the moon still shone and the sun still rose in the morning. I survived.
Social media has benefits and downfalls; I believe more downs then ups (long term). To many become dependant on social media, which is no different than any other addiction. Yet, I am aware of it's necessity to sell yourself and your product. So, I ask what is the perfect balance between addiction and necessity? Answer: Awareness and self control. Please note this is my answer I’m not saying it is everyone’s.
Therefore, I am stepping aside for a moment, focusing on me and my personal work and life. Wishing to put my focus on completing my novels, and book of short stories. I shall continue to read, comment and support, as I feel Vocal has become an extended member of my inner circle, my friend and in some ways, family.
I am close to ten thousand reads, and this makes me want to keep writing to hit that mark. Yet, it would be one more thing that gives me an excuse to put off what should have been completed a year ago. If you would like to help and (re)read a few of my stories to get me there I will not object. 😉
*From my first submission - Cost of Freedom: Which gave me hope and let me know I have the potential if I work hard.
*To my last submission - Behind the Web: Which let me know I have the ability to succeed, by continuing to learn and keep writing.
I have two finished stories, I hope to submit before going into self exile.
So many of you have entered my life and made me a better writer just by being you. To the first people I met to the very last one and too so many that no longer are here on vocal.
In no particular order:
Judey, Dharrsheena, Lamar, Mark, John, Heather, Cathy, Donna, Rick, Paul, Ruth, Mike, Tim, Gina, Dana, Caitlin, Cindy, Lana, Antoni, Kendall, Babs, D.K., Mathew, Liam, Stephen K., Stephen R., L.C., Gabriel, Racheal, Celia and River, Mother C., Marie, Raymond, Komal, C.H., Mariann, K.B., Joe, Novel, Stephanie, Andrew, C. Rommial, Gerald, Jay, Kristen, Sean, Alex, Sk, Andrea, Hannah, Imola, S.A., Scott, Jay, Marylin, Morgana, Tiffany, Ally, Julie, Colleen, Kelli, Natashia, Melissa, Angela, Caroline, Randy, PJ, Naomi, Katarzyna, J.R., Les, Oneg, Shane, Dean, Loyrne. Pamela, Sian, and the entire Vocal team:
And Still, to this date the late great Tom Bradbury.
A special thanks to all of you.
AND SO MANY MORE.
I will return to Vocal. My account will remain open. I am still a Vocal Plus member.
I will not say goodbye. That sounds so final. Therefore, I shall say Au revoir, until we meet again.
Thank you to all and to all a good write.
Jason Basaraba
About the Creator
JBaz
I have enjoyed writing for most of my life, never professionally.
I wish to now share my stories with others, lets see where it goes.
Born and raised on the Canadian Prairies, I currently reside on the West Coast. I call both places home.
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Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
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Well-structured & engaging content
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
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It's Winter
Anne Bernays and Pamela Painter — What If? Writing Exercise for Fiction Writers prompts The Exercise —Write a scene involving two characters. Have the point-of-view character presume something entirely different about the situation from what the other character's overt behavior seems to imply. For example, a landlord comes to visit, and the tenant suspects that it isn't a visit but an inspection. Make up several situations in which one character can fantasize or project or suspect or even fear what another character is thinking. The Objective - To show how your characters can use their imaginations to interpret the behavior and dialogue of other characters.
By Denise E Lindquist6 days ago in Writers
Comments (27)
When I read the title I felt my heart skipping a beat. I literally said it out loud: no! But I was relieved to read that isn't a final goodbye. I can relate to everything you wrote here. I have stories that live in my head rent free for years, I'm working on a novel since I was 18... never good enough. And the constant questioning if I should put myself out more, shouldn't I be making more money, are people reading my work because it's good or because they want the favor to be returned? But then I always realize I was too involved and overthinking. I don't have to write and publish non-stop, the world will keep going if I don't post on social media... I'm just not built for that. I work like nature. There's time when things inside me needs to be dormant, and there's time to grow and time to bloom. Maybe you're like that, too. And people like that burn out because they don't take enough breaks to recharge and refill their cup. It's something I'm still mastering, too. I hope a break from the internet world will do good for you. I wish you the best of luck with your novel and if you need a beta reader or anything, I'm happy to volunteer. 💖You're a wonderful writer and I will miss reading your work, but then there's so much of them I didn't get to read yet. I will keep myself busy with those, taking you a bit closer to the 10k.
Wooohooooo congratulations on your Leaderboard placement! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Yay Jason! I'm excited for your new chapter! I can't wait to read your novel one day! Happy writing! 🥳✒️
Gosh! This is emotional to read. I bet it was really difficult to write. Like you Vocal is my comfort place. Right now I don't have the headspace to press on with my novel so I float about here from time to time, enjoying the company, having a go at the bite size writing challenges. I know I don't float about a lot, but please know that I will miss you, Jason. All the very best and please be sure to come back when you are done to tell us all about it! 🥰
First off, you are entirely correct about how easy it is to put things off in order to complete a challenge entry and vocal makes sure to keep them coming. Also, the unfinished draft section continues to grow. I went through mine and even deleted some, something I rarely do. J, you have become a positive force and a source of inspiration here on vocal. Thank you so much for the interactions and helping others to build confidence in their own work. I, myself have taken little breaks here and there to focus on things I want to accomplish outside of vocal. I still enjoy it here. But nothing is forever. I won’t forget to frequent your profile and help you get to the 100000 mark. Best of luck completing your novel and hope you give us updates when you can. Thank you again, my friend. 🍻🍻🍻
Wishing you the best on your endeavors! I bet they will be amazing!! Putting ourself out there really is hard. I always feel the same, afraid of failing. It's getting easier but I just did something big and am feeling nervous about it today also, so I definitely felt that part. Also, congrats on making leaderboard! I agree with what you said here. Vocal used to be so full of engagement. Most people openly admit to writing and not reading. We can't just rely on others to simply support us if we can't even be bothered to reciprocate. I usually try and read as many stories as I can and subscribe when I see a few stories from a creator that peaks my interest. i also try and interact as often as possible. Sometimes, I find myself speechless. Others I say too much lol. (like now). Anyways- I wish you all the best and am going to subscribe to see whatever you have for us upon your return!
I feel you, my friend. I am considering something of a sabbatical from Vocal myself, to complete the books that are growing mold on my hard drive. I find myself thinking about how we stumbled on each other's writing - The zombie series? - I don't know, but I'm grateful to have had your support since then. You will be missed, Jason.
Oh, Jason, I’m not sure how this slipped through my notifications but I totally understand. I do hope you will recharge your batteries and come back refreshed, publishing your ridiculously long reads. Just joking I loved reading them all and as a writer of long reads myself I plunge into them head on and always enjoy them. Here is an idea: when writing your novels you feel like you can share a chapter or excerpt that can serve as a standalone piece, I am always here to read it. But you do what you think is best for you. I will miss your stories. Happy New Year, my friend.
I already miss you even though I'm on here sporadically anymore! You've always been honest and kind, supportive and so very talented in your own right. I appreciate your growth and your self awareness, just don't let those negative voices get a chance to drown out the good. I hope new focus is what you need. You always know where to find me :)
Firstly, just to get this off my chest, you are a wonderful writer, Jason. And I will miss reading your work. But more importantly, I think your self judgement is too harsh. Having tried to write three separate novels and failed to complete them, I can appreciate your frustration. But quite frankly, the novel is an extraordinary art form if accomplished correctly. One of the reasons I love Vocal is that it gives me the opportunity to hone my skill set to hopefully one day attempt a novel that I can actually complete. Your inner critic is one of the reasons your stories are so strong and undoubtedly what will help you achieve your dream of completing a novel. So, when you do publish it, please let us all know on Vocal so we can buy it and read it. In the meantime, I wish you all the joy you have worked so hard to achieve! Your friend, John
Life in the fast lane can give us a sense of regale, yet other times, it offers everything but. You have made a decision that is best for you at this moment. If your ardor is being swept away by the constant pressure of the platform, then a respite is necessary to complete those novels. It is okay to give yourself room to breathe. I truly admire that you wrote this with a writer's ears and eyes. You left us with mellifluous words, creating a scene in our heads that allows us to empathize deeply with your journey. I will check out the pieces I might have missed. I don’t publish as often as I used to, so there is much in your words that I feel and understand. 🤗❤️
Jason, I completely understand your perspective and will certainly miss your thoughtful comments. I must admit I've also reduced my reading and commenting recently due to the demands of editing my new book, which has required 8-to-12-hour days to finalize. Now that this intensive phase is complete, I look forward to returning to regular engagement. I wish you every success with your novel and the focused work ahead. I'm already looking forward to purchasing and reading it when it's available.
I get this so much, Jason. I've stepped aside from Vocal twice and came back. Sometimes, you just need to take a break from social media for whatever reason. Come back soon, for you will be missed <3 Always feel free to holler if you need to talk. Hugs, <3
As we approach a new timeline, our world is changing fast. For those who are not well informed about how politics is going to affect us, I suggest getting to know where we are headed. Knowledge is power. I can’t finesse or coat my writing I can only say it how I feel it. Get ready in all ways. A hint, Orwell .
Sometimes a break from one thing is exactly what one needs to focus on another project. I wish you good luck with your novels and short stories. Release them to the world!
I'm happy that you know what's best for you and that you're doing it. I'm not sad because you're not leaving permanently. I appreciate you so much for being my friend 🥹❤️ I wish you all the best Jason!
Your words remind me why Vocal feels like more than a platform. Thank you for the kindness and support you’ve always shared with this community.
I knew this was coming, because I had known you said you were going to do the same as Donna more or less. Though I am glad you're not completely closing your account down. I am not always the best at catching up and reading everyone's stuff, but will definitely make more effort with yours to help get you to the big 10K and beyond. As sad as it is and as much as you will be missed, I can't deny your choices and the reasons for them. I wish you well in all your future endeavours and please keep us updated on your progress! Been a joy and privilege getting to read your work and interact with you over the last couple of years, Jason. Mean that most sincerely. You always have an encouraging word for people and are one of the brightest in terms of positivity and writing smarts on the platform. Thank you and good luck to you, sir!
Will miss you but I wish you luck on your endeavors! I totally get it, and I think we would all do well to take a break sometimes in many things: take time to reconnect with passions, with life. I know I have a few of your stories on my read list still so in time I’ll add my effort to that count
I am peeping back in after my own break. I feel this in my bones. There is ebb, and there's flow. Sometimes you have to allow the ebb. It's no good trying to harvest in the planting season. ♥
You mentioned this was going to happen when Donna left, but I was hoping you had changed your mind. My next book should be published in early Spring so maybe we can have some sort of joint book launch. Anyway, I wish you nothing but success and have a great 2026. You'll be missed, my friend.
You are writing a novel, cool. Its going to a best seller! You are an amazing writer! Thanks for your support. Maybe you let me interview you after your book is published. I support you and cheer you on!!!! 💛 I am sure you will still write a few stories here and there on Vocal. 😊 I wish I can write an action scene like you do. Awesome, like I, the reader is part of it.
Jason - you have been an inspiration to me for as long as I've been on this site. Both your brilliant writing and your thoughtful and encouraging responses have bolstered me to believing in my ability to succeed, and I just want to say a huge thank you for being the wonderful pillar of the Vocal world that you are. Take all the time you need away - I've been there too, and I know that we all can relate to and support the need to rest and focus elsewhere. Many blessings on all your endeavors, good sir!
Hi Jason! Do you have another place we can follow your writing, like Substack?
I get how you feel JB. The camaraderie has been lost. The fun hiding, hoping to be found. I agree with KB. Drafts are a good thing. I am not a fan of the new challenges. They are not cheerful and uplifting, which is what we actually need right now. I have tons of pages of drafts, I am now returning to use them as many fit the challenge criteria. Your brain tells you when its time to take a well needed break. The lack of reads is so noticeable, I learned to not make it a problem anymore, hopefully changes are coming to encourage people to do so again. If not, we all have choices. I take a lot of me time, and try to read and comment, lots of comments I still need to respond to. Enjoy your you time and may your characters jump from the pages of your books, etc. Hope to see you back when the bug bites- Blessings and happy new year.