A Word From The Author On The Journey Of Healing The Soul

This is the afterword of my book, "Memoirs Of The In-Between" but it (and several bonus chapters and character profiles) can only be purchased when you purchase them via Campfire Writing.

The beginning of this story was me trying to find a way to break the ceiling on my mental status. I was Yuzuki, on the inside. So, I personified the concept of my cold dead heart into a story that made sense to me then. Working through the complex feelings of trauma from a complicated childhood and an abusive marriage, I made this character to abuse - so that I could work out the healing as I wrote. That may seem selfish of me, but the result was a character that I admired, and in doing so, I found reasons to heal in my real world.

One of the reasons it took so long is because I was stupid, and married a cruel man. He sapped the life force from me. If I thought I was dead inside before, I didn’t know just how much worse it could be with a man who made you feel like the most disgusting piece of crap he’d ever stepped in before getting drunk and demanding sex. I was a financial prisoner, and he stopped my attempts at a trade school or a degree. I left my home country for, and I had NO ONE but him for 9200 miles of ocean. It was a complicated trauma-bond kind of situation. But I eventually reached out for help and found a way home. I got to the part of Alice’s death before I stopped writing for three years.

When I started writing this book, it started as just a wild idea based on a dream I had after watching the anime Bleach. The dream morphed and grew the more I wrote down. Believe it or not, it took 5 years to write this book. When I began to write it, I only had the beginning which was Yuzuki’s death, and transcendence. I knew I wanted her father to be the big bad. I wanted “Living” Yuzuki to feel trapped by her own fears and the oppression that she had learned from her living world. And I wanted her to transcend above that and find something better. In a sense, I guess I wanted to kill that version of me that was stuck on things I could not control. She transcends and grows into something better, and I knew she would do that because, by the end of Yuzuki’s journey, I wanted desperately to be on the same path as her: The path to healing and happiness. I wanted to BE an amaranth flower sprouting from the ground in a place that used to be a bloody battlefield.

I wanted to process my fear of death too.

I believed in God, but I am not a churchgoer. I am not in a religion, but a faith, but I still had a terrifying phobia of death. I don’t process it well. I still don’t, but throwing myself into an environment where the characters were already dead - yet still living helped me overcome the worst of my fears. I still don’t know what truly happens after death. But it’s comforting to have engrained in my mind that life continues after death. In real life, it’s the same. Someone passes, we return them to the earth from where they came, and we grieve. And the world keeps going.

I don’t believe death is the end. I believe that this life is just a stepping stone to where our souls will eventually be. Whether that's heaven or a cycle of rebirth - I trust in God, I trust in Fate, and I feel much better about the whole concept.

We will see if that comfort and trust lasts in the upcoming years.

And that was just the start of my journey. It took two more years of mistakes, lessons learned, and self-growth as a person to find the inspiration for the ending of this book. And that’s when it really took a life of its own. It went through a horrible experience with a publishing house, and now it’s here. A final draft, fully edited by my current husband who is the MOST AMAZING person. Supported by my bubba and sissy, and my mom is STILL my biggest fan. Even though all the darkness that I experienced in my life as this book was coming to life, I learned a lot about healing and perseverance, and when the fog lifted I was still surrounded by people who loved me, all of them holding me up and supporting me even though in the darkness, I hadn’t realized it.

I hope, that this time around, my story can be told with passion and justice. I hope it reaches the hearts of people around the world who may need a story that embodies the strength and perseverance it takes to find hope where there is none, love when you have never felt it, and I pray that everyone who needs a reason to keep going finds it. I hope with all my heart that this story teaches everyone who reads Memoirs Of The In-Between that they are enough. No matter what they have done, it’s never too late. And no matter who you are, what you have gone through, what you have been taught:

I want everyone who reads my story about this poor woman who never truly knew peace and love, despite having special people in her life, to understand that Yuzuki represents EVERYONE in the world in some way, shape, or form. She was lost and hopeless, with no real purpose or drive. She only did what she was told, and she hated herself for it. We have all felt this way. We’ve all hated ourselves, stumbled down the wrong path blinded by our own hubris. We have all felt defeated.

But with the rise of her spirit and the transcendence of her soul, Yuzuki found that no matter what lay in her past - her future was up to her. It was her choice. She just had to be brave enough to accept happiness. She had to be brave enough to let people in. And she had to be strong enough to let go of her pain.

This is real life. This story may be fiction, but the intention behind this story was so real. Because we can all kill off our old, sad, hateful, lost, hopeless self. And we can rise from it stronger, wiser and more alive than ever. We just have to be brave enough to heal.

The message I wanted this book to give people was a powerful one, and I can only hope that I’ve done this message justice:

You can always blossom, whenever you are ready, but you must choose it. Healing from trauma and pain is a conscious effort. The people around us help, and as Yuzuki learned to rely on the people around her who love her, I was also learning this lesson.

I hope that no matter what you are facing in life right now, this book ignites that spark in you, and helps you through it. I hope that Yuzuki’s healing journey provides a safe space for people to help process their own pain, fears, demons, and grief. And I hope by the end of her story, you have a strong solid foundation for your waking reality in which you rise, feeling stronger.

Because no matter who you are, what you’ve gone through, what lifestyle you choose: Your life is precious. Your story is important. And so long as you choose to stand up and keep going - there is ALWAYS redemption should you move with that purpose. And even if you think you are the worst person on earth, you still deserve healing and happiness.

And thank you SO much for reading.

I love you all so much!

Time is precious, thank you so much for taking some to read my article. I hope you enjoyed it and it proved useful in some way!

Find my fictional fantasy book "Memoirs of the In-Between" on Amazon in paperback, eBook, and hardback.

You can also find it in the Apple Store or on the Campfire Reading app.

And if you like pretty things - check out the author's merch store - where all money goes right back into advertising.

Like and Follow the Memoirs Facebook age here!