A Controlled Life And Being On Time

The Book of Questions - Prompts by Gregory Stock, Ph.D. - When has your life dramatically changed as the result of some seemingly random external influence? How much do you feel in control of the course of your life?

Divorce - Twice and so much powerlessness

Cancer - Once and for life - so many cancer thoughts never less

Diabetes - Concerns over what may come next, a tireless mess

Control? I will do what I can to change myself, as I am the only one I can change.

Stay happily married - marriage is work - treat my partner the way I want to be treated, and stay out of my addiction by continuing in my recovery program.

Stay away from cancer by doing those things I have learned can contribute to prevention and staying away from those things that will contribute to a reoccurance.

Staying off insulin and pills by continuing the things I know to do to lower my blood sugar.

The Book of Questions - Prompts by Gregory Stock, Ph.D. - Does living as though you control your own destiny, lead to a more powerful life?

Yes. I have lived as a victim in my way past and choose not to live that way ever again.

Most recently, I went to therapy to have EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and realized that I was again living in fear, anger, and powerlessness. I felt like I had no recourse, and it didn't make sense.

What happened in therapy was that I figured out that I was back in my young girl age of eleven and twelve, having just moved to a place with a lot of racism, and I was being assaulted. Then, in my life today, I was taking all the name-calling I was hearing from politics personally.

Things my husband said against the vice president and our governor. It was all personal for me. After the experience with EMDR, some of the body memory was resolved. I choose not to be caught up in the victim mode.

I am a woman who is strong, intelligent, and passionate about goodness, peace, and love. I have no time to be scared, angry, or mean to others. I am so relieved that I came out on the other side of that. It can be a scary time in this country and my life without me living in victim mode. That is not helpful to anyone.

The Book of Questions - Prompts by Gregory Stock, Ph.D. - If a friend were almost always late, would you resent it or simply allow for it? Can you be counted on to be on time?

In my culture, there is something known as 'Indian time,' and it doesn't mean you get to purposely be late for events because of it. It means that family comes first, and sometimes circumstances require that you finish something first before you move on to the next thing.

In this way, allowances are made without resentment, and it is allowed for.

I can be counted on to be on time. My husband, who is not from my culture but grew up with my people, didn't learn the true meaning of Indian time, as he thinks if you are not 1/2 hour early, then you are late.

He was effected by being in the military. He has some of that rigidity. He won't miss any regular appointments for nothing.