10,001

Well, I wondered what my next topic would be...

I felt that there was something I should have noted as I contributed pieces throughout November.

I noted that there was something funny with the numbers when I checked the Stats page: they did not budge. Nothing seemed to make the jump beyond the four digits on the page; nothing seemed to grab the public’s attention. I was actually worried that I would probably be stuck just gazing at those figures occasionally as interest in my page slid into nothingness.

And then I looked at the numbers…

9,989.

Bracketed by Total reads and All time, this was an interesting surprise at the end of November. I should have known that this was going to happen, but I really don’t bother with the Stats page unless I want to see how popular a Top Story has become, or if I want to just check up on some other pieces that were surprisingly ignored by you.

And then I noted another number:

9,998.

So close… Just so close…

Was it my goal to put so much stress on my head that this near-and-yet-so-far figure would haunt me for a week until I passed into the five-digit realm? Was I really that desperate that I thought my readers were responsible for getting me across that divide?

Well, shame on me.

I see that my work is still popular, whether or not it is a poem, essay, article, story, or other printed experiment that I came up with to amuse myself or enter a contest with. And this is the moment where I thank you all for your kind words, comments, likes and interest in what another fellow writer has to say.

And do the numbers really matter?

I mean, when I started writing here, I could not get any attention at all. I first wrote a piece for a Challenge that promised quite a bit of money…and nothing came of it (story of my writing life). And from that moment on, I wondered if I would stay here. But…I kept it going. It was not a habit that I was determined to follow every single day, but I wanted to be read, and I wanted to keep writing. The Challenges were always a good push, but so were the comments that finally arrived after at least a year of work. Some of you might have been too complimentary about what I put down. Others went a step further and provided me with Tips for my scribbles. I am still not sure how I feel about this particular Vocal feature. On the one hand, I am glad that I am making some money on this page beyond the money earned just from readings and clicks. On the other hand, I never seem to have enough money to start doling it out to the writers I like. On the third hand, I still have that voice in my head telling me that writers who are willing to pay me must have money of their own, therefore, they don’t need me to start paying them.

Just maybe this is true?

Anyway, I wrote this particular piece after a few days off because it is nice to end the year having reached a milestone like this. Some of you have also passed 10K; some have even reached 20K (show-offs!). I am not sure what my goal is, or how long I plan to keep this going, but I know that this is a habit that I cannot shake now.

And I thank you all. I know that it is sometimes very hard to step out of one’s own head to acknowledge all of the other talent out there, so your words of praise and even critiques are invaluable gifts that I treasure. I will keep writing and attempting to find a voice that still has to grow and develop.

Thank you, Vocalists.

And now, you must excuse me. I have some work to do...

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You can find more poems, stories, and articles by Kendall Defoe on my Vocal profile. I complain, argue, provoke and create...just like everybody else.

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