Who Am I?

I often get asked if I consider myself more French or German.

Having a German mother and a French father, I have been raised in between two cultures. I was born in France but lived most of my life in Germany. I went to a French school in Berlin so my education was based on the French teaching approach. I was mostly surrounded by German and French students and was also exposed to many international pupils. When I was living in Berlin, I used to look at myself as a typical French. However, the more I came back to France, the more I started realising I was not as French as I thought. Funny enough, I began considering myself as French when being in Germany and German when staying in France. After all, I was both, I could choose and it made me feel special, part a small group, different from most friends. But sometimes confused or isolated.

I discovered later that having a double nationality was not the only complication in defining my culture and identity. Every country I got to live in has brought me a little something. After graduating from high school, I left for six months to Australia. It was the first time I stayed at a place alone. Leaving my comfort zone had a big influence on me. I had to learn to live on my one while facing a new culture. Today, I can say that I have acquired many of my lifestyle habits during this experience.

It is curious how a new country and a new city can change you. The people you encounter, the cultural habits you get across, the language you hear and learn, the food habits you experience; all of those novelties transform you! You are still the same person, but your perspective on things have changed. You allow yourself to enlarge your visions and opinions and to get more open-minded. In other words, a part of you will alter and you will redefine your perspectives and opinions towards life.

After my gap year, I came to London. I am now in my second year in a BA of Interaction Design Arts. Even though I believe my journey in Australia had more repercussions on me, this new destination has brought me a lot too. I have adapted as much as I could to the local lifestyle and therefore might have changed some of my previous routine habits. I am continuing to transform my identity, slowly, as London, my new friends, my new school are changing my representation of life.

As an example: I found it already challenging to navigate between French and German education, two completely different ways of exercising disciplines. But as British education came along, I had to adapt to a new, foreign teaching method. More freedom, less prescription, less competition but maybe more personal reflection and teamwork. A very different relationship with the teacher's authority. It took me a full year to adjust. However, I have now learned how to make the best out of my University classes, without completely negating my German and French roots.

What I want to point out here is how a legal paper has nothing to do with who you are. Personality keeps varying and adjusting to the places you live in and the cultures you cross. I used to find it sad not to be able to relate to one single country. Today, I am more than happy I had the chance to be exposed so early to so many different identities that have slowly, gently shaped mine. Identity does not stand for nationality; nationality is just one important pillar of the complex construction of our personal identity. Identify changes as time goes, as new experiences shape our perception of life.

I am truly thankful to my parents for exposing me to a variety of countries and cultures. I learned so much, I changed, and am grateful I was able to adjust, learn and grow from the cultures and identities of those places.

Legally, I might be both French and German. However, in my heart, I am the result of all my experiences.