What I Want and What Happened

If you ever had a travel dream, one where you wanted to go live in a specific place then you will understand how I tried to make that dream come true...

Imagine yourself on a plane going to your dream destination, one you've been quietly dreaming of going since forever and when you arrive, well not only you feel like home but you feel like you've been there before. It's a feeling of belonging somewhere that you do not want to shake off.

I decided to take a trip to Ireland as it is home to me, I'm part Irish, but I never truly went or lived there either. Quite the experience if I could say the least.

I had the opportunity to stay with a friend and his housemates. Even if I wanted to make the best out of the trip when a bad situation comes along, you don't only shut off but it becomes difficult to stay happy. It became difficult, very difficult, and a friend had to pick me up. I stayed with her for the next two nights and left the next day to France to another friend's place. So I left for multiple reasons, personal reasons, but the living situation back in Ireland was too complex. I couldn't stay any longer, needed a break from everything. Get my act together from finances to my perspective that I may have lost along the way...

When something goes terribly wrong and you can't seem to get out of it by yourself, the only choice is to ask for help. Help...

What a concept, right? It's something I rarely do, not that I don't need because I do, but it's just the fact that I don't want to ask for any help. Sounds pathetic, I know, I can't seem to shake the idea that sometimes asking for help isn't bad, even though I, personally, do not want to cause any more issues to others, become someone's problem by putting my own in front of their faces.

So I asked for help, got the help, and today... I'm safe and sound, tired at my friend's place, enjoying some well-deserved rest, amazing food, drinks... you may well imagine what Europe does to you between the food, drinks and late nights! Up to now, I'm trying to get some money on the side, trying to get my health back as well as all the sleep that I lost for a bit...

Life threw some obstacles, ones that made me get out of a country, yes it was hard, but it doesn't mean I'm going to never come back home. In a way, I'm taking a long vacation while trying to figure out the next move. That dream of mine may have started on the wrong side of the track, but it doesn't mean I have to quit. Not yet at least, not until I try my hardest to get back and make it work. To make my dream a reality.

A dream can be postponed in order to figure out what should happen in order to make that dream come true. Now, it's not easy to see it crumble down fast, I know that but I'm making it work the best I can, I don't think I realize what truly happened, what went wrong and how it became what it became... it takes time! That's why asking help is needed, at least for me was.

Life will always get in the way, sometimes to help you realize you may have not been ready to start that dream or to show you that you made the right choices. In my case, I went without making the right decisions... It's only the beginning; it's not the end... just yet!