West Country Wander

I usually write about budget travel advice, and for the non-environmentally friendly minded (or those, like me, who just can’t deal with spending £500 on a train journey with three changes), I’d recommend flying to Bristol. Unless, of course, you live closer to Bristol than Newcastle, or indeed, you live in America, as I know the majority of you do. Actually, those of you who live in America probably would have to fly.

But I digress – the flight was absolutely fine – barely up before we were down. In fact, due to ill-times decisions to use the toilet in relation to the commencement of the service trolley’s journey, we spent most of the flight standing at the back of the plane listening to people order cups of tea.

I’d wanted to go to Bristol for a while because I have a lot of family who have lived in the area who describe it as really nice and, indeed, comparable to my beloved Newcastle. And on first impression, it was not a disappointment. Like Newcastle, there’s nice bridges (but more barges), craft beers (and more ciders), and just as many roadworks (maybe this is just Britain right now). I was travelling the day after the election, which had just elected a Green MP (Carla Denyer, who is also co-leader), and indeed, I did get a very laid back, lefty vibe from the place. Although Bristol can’t match Newcastle’s record of not descending into riot recently.

Speaking of riots/protests … whatever we’re to call them (riots mainly – let’s not lie), I’d forgotten that Bristol was the epicentre of the BLM events in the UK, with the toppling of Edward Colston’s statue. I wrote about this at the time – can’t believe it’s been so long, but it actually only suddenly occurred to me when I passed the empty plinth in quite by coincidence.

First day, after ticking ‘Moor beer company’ off my beer bucket list (nice drop), we went for pizza, seeking out Bristol’s best in what the few fans of my work will know is a favourite of mine- the new trend for high quality pizza places in the UK. The option here was Bertha’s, and I must admit it was probably one of the nicest pizzas I’ve had outside Italy. I quite fancied a nice walk down by the Avon gorge afterwards and a cocktail in the shadow of the famous Clifton Suspension Bridge. However, after walking down towards what we thought as the Hotel du Vin in said position, we realised that, not only was this a different Hotel du Vin, another thing difference between Bristol and Newcastle is that it is a lot bigger, and it was going to be quite a walk down the river to the bridge. I was a bit disappointed because I’d liked to have seen it, and we had a busy day in bath planned the next day, but cut my losses, and had a nice drink in a nearby pub followed by a nice old fashioned in a steampunk-style cocktail bar, The Clockwork Rose.

My girlfriend Hannah wanted to go to Bath for the day, and as it’s on the doorstep, this was ideal. Hopped on the train and it was the next stop. The first stop upon deboarding, however, was very much my choice, a return to the simply fantastic chain of West country cafes, Boston Tea Party, which I hadn’t had the chance to enjoy since my trip to Stratford last year (blog available). The Bath branch was quite small, so I told the waitress we’d sit outside. She assumed we meant while we wait for a table and was bemused when I told her I literally just meant sit outside (these Southerners eh?). I had a nice breakfast but the lady sitting across from us did not when a ruthless seagull snatched her croissant straight from out of her hand.

The next stop was the namesake of the town, the Roman Baths themselves. Now, I obviously knew that these were a thing, and I was excited to go, but I was a bit dumbfounded by the price of the tickets - £30 each if I recall – but perhaps this is because my last experience of a Roman baths was in York, where there is a proper old bloke’s pub called The Roman Bath, that just happens to be on top of a Roman Bath, and for about a fiver will let you go through a little door, walk around the Bath, and then emerge next to the bloke’s bogs (modern not Roman, though probably similarly hygienic). This was, shall we say, not quite like that. It was an entire complex of temples, Baths etc. and took you through the whole Roman journey in Britain, and Bath remains a Spa town. I would highly recommend this experience, and indeed, the town itself, which is very quaint and beautiful. It had also just recently been politically relinquished, from the hands of Jacob Rees-Mogg no less, and became a Labour town, but I can’t say that the change was very obvious here, it certainly seemed like a conservative place to me (parks that you have to PAY to get into). But I suppose you want that from a little historical town that you’re visiting for the day, don’t you?

We marvelled at the Abbey, which is very nice if like me you enjoy a church, and Hannah wanted to visit the ‘Royal crescent,’ a famous sweeping row of terraces that is supposedly, and indeed she agreed, a marvel of Georgian architecture. It was nice to look at I’ll admit, but I mused that it looked a bit like Tynemouth to me ( I assure you nobody I have told this to has shared the opinion, so there you go I guess). I had a look at the Atlas Obscura page for Bath and was informed that if you climb the hill leading to Alexandra Park, you get a lovely view of the town. It was indeed quite a hill, but worth it for the view at the top. We did then, as is custom, come back down for tea. Tonight, this was courtesy of Noya’s kitchen, a Vietnamese restaurant who dished up a lovely spread of dumplings and a curry, which I washed down with some proper Somerset cider. Despite being very much a Beer drinker, I thought, when in a town named after Roman baths, do as the townspeople of the town named after Roman baths do. It was very nice, too.

Back to Bristol it was as we had a busy day on the Sunday. Breakfast was of course Boston Tea Party again, this time a bigger one, and via a famous Banksy. That’s a piece by Banksy, not the man himself, although, as he remains shrouded in mystery, it may well have been.

I was quite excited because today we were going to the zoo, as the zoo there has elephants and I’d never seen an elephant before (and I’d heard that they’re really big). However, we soon found that the only bus which would take us there was operating a Sunday service (ceasing to be in service). A taxi seemed like an expensive option, but it was surprisingly cheap. And, best of all, it drove over the Clifton Suspension Bridge on the way! I was, of course, thrilled about this, but as we were in a taxi I struggled to get a decent photo from the top. I just captured several passers-by. In fact, not long after we were there a body was found in a suitcase right next to the bridge – perhaps I unwittingly caught the murderer on camera.

The zoo was not a disappointment. And I was pleased to finally meet some friendly elephants. The zoo is set out like a farm, and it’s very strange seeing an elephant where a cow should be, but a trip to a real safari is a bit out my price range at the minute.

After we’d seen all the animals we thought we’d kill some time by doing a little maze that was on the farm …..

AN HOUR LATER we were still stuck. Dead ends, Unnavigable puddles, riddles to get the right path (NONE of which were easy – might as well have been written by the sphinx – what is Dutch for hedgehog? - or something - was one of example I’m sure. At long last, we finally got out. I thought I was going to miss my flight or die in there. Out of interest we had another look a t the entrance which did say give yourself plenty of time and wear wellingtons. Always read the signs.

I wanted to go to the top of the farm to see how big that maze really was, and on the way back down an elderly man offered Hannah the opportunity to feed the prairie dogs, little animals on the farm that she had grown very fond of. Because I knew a bit about the farm, I knew who he was – its founder, Anthony Bush. He’s famously an Evangelical Christian, and, although I was anticipating this and quite liked chatting about it, I think Hannah was a bit confused. I explained that unfortunately I was a Catholic, but we both found him to be very pleasant and he gave me a nice little book to take away. The most shocking thing he said (or not, come to think of it) was nothing to do with God or religion, but that the maze was the biggest in the UK! You don’t say!

Anyhow, back to the airport it was after that and home to the toon (when the plane was finally ready). I enjoyed this little trip but was now getting ready for a very big trip to the states, which I will tell you all about next time. Stay tuned (if you like this sort of thing).