Shepard and Flock

On the train now. I’m reading a book by jack kerouac. I’m next to a freight train. He used to work on them. A working man. I look at my working man’s hands. He describes scenes of drunken Bafoonery. Much like the ones that I’ve had recently. I can’t help it. Neither can he it seems. Longing for adventure or some crap like that. I’m reminded of what James said to me. I look like him. As our 6 month catch goes on he tells me that I’ve inspired him to fix up his dad’s car. He has the car I have my boat and the bloke at our table has London. He recently moved into James’s old place. A house in Brixton. Even took over his old job. It makes me smile. He’s going to take over James’s old life and make his own. Like a hand me down jumper. Like James’s dad’s car. We sit and we talk for hours. Go outside and get stoned. Right down thoughts as they come. Use a bookies pen to pen something onto my hand. I’d rubbed it off by the next morning. Getting out of bed on three ours sleep. Whilst James half asleep tries to close a curtain. He’s asleep by my fire. We had to call it a night. We were still stoned at 3:30 rolling another one as a night cap. I needed to be at work for 7:30. It’s about 6:30 at that point. My work clothes aren’t even on the boat. So I go in jeans. I have a jumper there and overalls. My eyes bloodshot. I’m still stoned. Not hungover though so that was a blessing I stager down to the cafe where I get my morning bacon and egg sandwich and a capuccino. Other trades sit around me. All waiting on their own food. I feel later than usual. I don’t recognise the faces. I look at myself in the mirror. They probably don’t recognise me either. I leave and get my bus. Everything feels off. I’m feeling like this might be the day that gets me. I’m into work. I get changed head down. Lager is on my tongue. That horrible taste of one too many pints. I burp my breathe the taste of that forgotten pizza. I’m tasked with hammering a boat. Getting all of the rust off it. The day before I had dismantled every loose sheet of aluminium steel and all of the tires along the sides. It was easy. Just me and Mike. I’d even welded a plate to another boat that morning. This was different this was awful. This was pain. By 2 I had a migraine. I never get them. Air chiselling blindly at the sides because health and safety told us we had to wear big bulky masks. We look like future soldiers. Master chief, Spartans. I have a paracetamol. The first one in years. Maybe my second ever. It helps for a moment and I get back on with my job.