From Paradise to the Mouth of Hell: A Nicaraguan Adventure

Granada is a gorgeous colonial city that’s just too photogenic for its own good. Sweet pastel colours and delightfully manicured gardens are everywhere you look.

The cathedral was my one true love.

I have pictures of it from pretty much every possible angle: from the top of the bell tower of Iglesia La Merced, where you can see the cathedral popping out from a sea of terracotta rooftops and palm trees to stand below it in the town square gazing up at its burnt yellow beauty, or gazing out from the top of the cathedral itself, beholding its smooth earthen domes across to the blue skies and volcanoes beyond.

But despite all that beauty, something was missing.

The scene felt nearly dystopian in its lifelessness. It was a tourist city without tourists. I’d heard that the tourist industry in Granada had suffered greatly because of Covid, and this resulted in increased crime for those who remained. Walking around, you could feel the desperation created by this drop in income. I often felt uncomfortable, vulnerable, or on edge. The city just felt sad, empty, and strange.

But this was back in 2022, and I hope that Granada has since recovered, and is now a lively, fun, bustling place to be. If you’ve visited since then, I would love to hear about your experience.

What Granada lacked in character, it made up for in day trips. We did a combo tour of Laguna de Apoyo (Lake Apoyo) and Volcan Masaya (Masaya Volcano), which was simply incredible!

First, we stopped at a viewpoint above the lake, feasting our eyes on sumptuous velvet-blue waters enveloped in a volcanic crater, further engulfed by foliage.

I was so excited to get down there!

Hostel Paradiso earned its name with its series of stepped gardens leading down to a chilled bar/restaurant and a deck-chair-lined lakeside beach.

It was a gloriously sunny day, and it wasn’t long before we needed a dip. The water was surprisingly warm. Those volcanic crater lakes are the best. They’re basically a natural outdoor heated pool!

We had more fun than we should have giggling at this hapless couple attempting to kayak. They somehow got beached three times before even leaving the shore until three people had to push them off into the lake like wildlife volunteers helping some dopy whale stuck in the Thames. Silly things like this really tickle us and we often look at each other, saying, “Oh man, we’re going to hell for laughing at this!” before laughing some more.

Speaking of Hell, that’s where we’re headed next! The Spanish name for Volcan Masaya is “The Mouth of Hell.” How cool (or should I say hot?) is that?!

Its accessibility surprised me. It felt like cheating to drive up to a car park just opposite the crater. What do you mean we don’t need to hike for 8 hours to get here?!

In daylight, it was a smoky, smoldering pit surrounded by ashen layers of rock, mountain peaks, and a sunset beginning to slowly flame beyond. While waiting for darkness to fall, we hiked a little higher to watch the fiery sun fully set behind the volcano.

I was thrilled for darkness to overtake us and to be able to finally see the red molten glow of lava. Wow! It did not disappoint! The smoking pit was now a bubbling pit, glowing bright scarlet. Now you could see the lava pooling below.

At this point we were told something so gruesome, so shocking and so unthinkable that I couldn’t quite comprehend it. This was once a site for Mayan human sacrifice. What better place to sacrifice a human to God than at the mouth of Hell? As if the thought of this wasn’t horrific enough, we were then told who was sacrificed in this grisly way….

Babies.

You heard that right. Babies.

People took poor, innocent, tiny babies and threw them to their deaths in a boiling pit of steaming molten lava. Like I said my mind just couldn’t comprehend it. It was so shocking, so outrageous and so ridiculous that it was almost funny. There was a minor onslaught of dead baby jokes.

See, I told you that we were going to hell!

Luckily for us, hell was a pretty wonderful place to be.

Thank you for reading! Hearts and tips are always welcome and your support is very much appreciated.

This story was originally published on Medium

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