Finding beauty

There has been a feeling of emptiness to the whole thing. The start of 'lockdown' was an exciting and scary time. The fear was easy to identify - viruses are dangerous and invisible - not a great combination for any anxious soul. Choosing to use a word like 'lockdown' brought a movie type of energy to the mind. Imagining men in black suits (with unnecessary sunglasses) escorting particularly important people into special bunkers was extremely easy. You could almost hear a mental alarm blaring. It was a new type of risk for many of us - a universal one that seemed like it would affect us all. Walking empty streets in deserted towns for essential supplies gave the impression that something big was happening. This one was going to be different. The financial crisis of 2008 was the last time a potential game-changer came along; feeling as though it could change everything for everyone. However, the current situation did not take long before the general mood was more like bored children during a rainy summer holiday. Routines stopped or altered and Zoom became a thing. The internet allowed us to continue to be connected but it could often be difficult to feel connected. Having another person nearby is a sensory experience (whether or not we are always conscious of this). Most of us will be most keenly aware that we can see and hear other people. Comfort can be gained from the touch and scent of another person just as much if not so obviously. Taste can be included in the sharing of a drink or meal (and other avenues not covered in this article!).

So, to distract from the tedium of the same 4 walls for a while I decided to venture outdoors (obeying social distancing guidelines) and attempt to be mindful of things! Starting out, I was more mindful of what was not there - other people. I had prepared myself to be so conscious of other people (largely in an effort to avoid them) that I was 'tuned' to look for them even though they were not there. This is how I have tended to view anxiety, as a process of being heightened to look for potential dangers that may or may not even be there. It was all very contradictory - wanting to go outdoors to feel the presence of other living things whilst wanting to avoid them as best as possible at the same time. Only, humans are not the only living things out there...

Ominous clichés aside, I started to look forward to noticing things as I went for an exercise and fresh air walk. This progressed to the stage where the noticing of things became an equal joy to the fresh air and exercise. They bound themselves together becoming less of a chore. Instead of leaving the house to meet basic activity requirements, I was leaving to enjoy nature, which fulfilled the activity needs as well. I was just noticing more. On the outside. Completing a task because you should or need to is vastly different from enjoying something. Walking as part of something you need to do lends itself to thinking of other necessary obligations whilst out. A walk through a park or along a beach came become little more than the consideration of a mental to-do list which can leave you feeling uptight and unfulfilled after the activity. More can be gained from looking outward...

Flowers, plants, and trees can provide much of the sensory information we crave. They can often look beautiful or interesting. Wind rustling through leaves and branches or bees buzzing amongst a rainbow of colours can produce a natural symphony. The feel of a silky petal or a waxy leaf can be a joy to touch. Scents arise from green areas in a rich and varied way -aromatic flowers to the earthy bouquet of soil recently washed and fed by rain. There are even berries and fruits that can be cooked with or tasted directly (although this should be done with care, research, and caution as some may prove toxic and for sustainability). A sensory feast that can help remove you from a negative inner monologue to an appreciation of being part of something bigger...

Therefore, a mindful experience for when you are out in nature can be to free yourself of thought enough to notice something. Perhaps the colour of a rose or the sound of a startled rabbit or squirrel. Go and investigate with an open mind. Feel the textures, smell the air, and taste the rain. Let your experience of 'you' blend with nature we are all part of for a while. The dishes, bills, work, and hoovering will still all be there when you get back. Leave them at the door when you leave the house. You do not need to take your mental to-do list with you everywhere. Stay safe and try to enjoy the little things.