Chapter 1: Leaving on a Jet Plane

A little under 3 months ago, I packed up my life and flew to a new country to start over. Before I left I heard the same words over and over: Your life will be better there. I soon found out though that these were pretty much just words (at least for now).

In the month leading up to my departure, as I packed my life up in bags I would clench my chest sometimes and would have to stop because the thought of leaving was painful. Even though I had time to brace myself, I found that when the time came, no amount of time was enough. I was content with where I was at in my home country, so this step was really difficult.

In the month leading up to my departure, as I packed my life up in bags, I would clench my chest sometimes and would have to stop because the thought of leaving was painful. Even though I had time to brace myself, I found that when the time came, no amount of time was enough. I was content with where I was at in my home country so this step was really difficult, but I thought, as people always told me regarding this, give it a shot.

If I could talk to Renzi from 3 months ago, I think this is what I would have told her. It would actually also be a good thing to go back to whenever things get to be too much. Perhaps it would be useful to someone facing a similar situation, but I think it can apply to more than that.

1. Strengthen your heart as much as you can (and then a little more)

There will be a lot of times that you will find yourself crying your eyes out, the pain reverberating from your chest to your entire body. I didn't think the breakdowns would happen so quickly, but they will. And I don't know if there is such a thing as preparation for this, but at least a warning.

2. Patience is KEY

I think a recurring thing here is that you should prepare yourself until you think you're ready, and then you prepare some more. There will be a lot of moments where you're frustrated and wondering why things are going the way they are. Close your eyes, take a deep breath (or a few), then come back and try again. You can do this, it just needs more time.

3. You have to be more flexible than you thought you needed to be

Before getting here, you had this plan and timeline and you were ready to rock it. But 3 months in, you find yourself having to reach further, bend a little deeper, and explore a little further than you envisioned. You'll feel hecka lost and confused and frustrated, but you can do it.

4. You can do it, and you’re not alone

Remember that quote from a long time ago? “Even if you don’t believe in yourself, I believe in you” It still stands ‘til today. Through the breakdowns and moments of wanting to just give up, remember that there are people you can lean on. They can give you strength, and help you push forward.

This is an ongoing journey, and I still keep going through those things over and over. Still learning, still persevering. Many moments feeling like I’m going crazy, but I hope things fall into place soon and in the meantime, I‘ll just have to keep moving forward.