Women Respecting Women

“What are you doing?” “What are you wearing?” “Don’t you have any respect for yourself?” Whether these questions have been directed at us or a woman we know, many women have learned, through the patriarchal society, that if we are participating in any activity deemed inappropriate or not "respectable," we are not worthy of respect. Women are often monitored on their clothing choices, sexual activities, drinking, or late night habits. Society polices women's clothing and bodies on a daily basis. These views are extremely misogynistic and lead to people, men and women alike, judging women's behavior in order to determine whether or not they deserve respect.

Here are 10 ways to “respect yourselves” without giving in to the patriarchal society.

1. Wear whatever the hell you want.

Respect does not lie in what we wear but how we wear it. Wear whatever makes you proud, happy, and confident. Match that cute pink dress with those black combat boots, find clothes that speak to you. If you feel comfortable showing skin, go for it! Show off your beautiful body! If you feel more comfortable in conservative clothes, wear them proudly!

2. Stop giving a damn what people think of you.

Often, interacting with others can change how we act. I have often referred to myself as a people-pleaser, and I know I am not the only one. However, when someone thinks negatively of you, it does not affect you and who you are. If someone doesn't like you, who cares? Just because they have a problem with you does not mean that you have a problem.

3. Make time for yourself.

This is crucial. Being with yourself, getting to know what you want, need, and dream is important. Finding activities you enjoy by yourself allows you to appreciate yourself. It helps you to understand yourself. Gaining self-knowledge is incredibly important in respecting yourself.

4. Learn as much as you can.

One of the most harmful things we can do to ourselves is to believe we are stupid, to truly think we don't know anything. When we learn new things, we learn just how capable and incredible we can be. We won't ever know everything, and we may not be a prodigy at everything we try, but the important thing is we learn and we grow.

5. Do what makes you happy.

Whether it's a dream job, a hobby or travelling, do things that make you happy. Sometimes it can be as simple as sitting down with an old favorite book, or taking time to enjoy a cup of tea. Enjoy the little happy moments in life and gain an appreciation and respect for your life and your place in the world.

6. You deserve the best! Don't ever settle!

The worst way to disrespect yourself is to settle for being friends or in a relationship with someone who doesn't respect you. People who treat you badly, or are generally toxic to your happiness and self-respect, is incredibly damaging. The people closest to you have the biggest effect on your life, so surround yourself with people who make you happy, who love you and respect who you are.

7. Be proud of your accomplishments!

Never downplay your successes. Never forget what you have achieved in your life. Remember that second place soccer trophy, or when you won the spelling bee? What about when you got your first job, or graduated high school or university? Look back at your successes throughout your life; some may be smaller than others, but they are still successes. Regardless of the times you have failed, you have grown stronger and still have achieved more than most people can comprehend.

8. Stop comparing yourself to others.

This is so damaging to yourself and to others. You are a unique snowflake, completely different from that person next to you. Admire others, respect them, but do not judge yourself through them. Everyone has their own set of weaknesses, failures and insecurities; feel free to admire the strong, smart people in your life. However, their strength does not make you weak and their success does not make you a failure.

9. Support other people and surround yourself with those who support you.

Separate from the toxic people in your life. Be with people who make you stronger, smarter, confident, and more ambitious. People who encourage you to do things you never thought possible. In order to receive support you must feel comfortable supporting others as well, and encouraging them to respect and have confidence in themselves.

10. Be your own role model. Inspire others!

You can be your own role model. Look at your accomplishments, and the decisions you've made and the challenges you have faced. It can be difficult for people to see themselves as a role model to others. However, there may be someone who looks up to you, a nephew or niece, younger sibling, cousin, friend, etc. You owe it to them and yourself to make the most of every situation. Whether you are at a high point in your life, or a low one, do something that would makes you proud. Keep challenging yourself, to become a better person every day.

Self-confidence comes from the respect we have for ourselves, and self-confidence in itself demands respect from others. Knowing how to respect ourselves can lead to a positive self-image and self-esteem. There is a confidence gap between men and women and in order to decrease that gap it is important, as women, to respect and be confident in ourselves and our abilities and encourage other women to see themselves positively.