Why Feminism Fuels Patriarchy

Wisdom is often collected in the moments that we choose to walk away from something, in other words, when we concede to the natural death of an idea. At the budding age of 23, I felt completely lost after leaving my Christian based religion. I remember feeling disillusioned and cynical towards the church. The experience that I had while departing from my conservative Christian days is not unlike the experience that I had walking away from feminism. Feminism, similarly to religion, is a particular set of beliefs about the world, that points us toward individual and collective actions, in hopes of creating a better world. I won't analyze the problems with the collective action that religion has taken to "create a better world," mostly because religion has done quite the opposite (but that's for another article.) But I would like to dive into the reasons that I believe the world is ready for a new system of thinking, beyond the capacity of our current form of feminism.

I should note that feminism has been a pillar of significance for me, as it has been for many people, and for good reason. You know when you look back on your life and you can see a theme turning up again and again? For me, this was, vaguely put, women/girls/women's health, etc. Let me give you a brief background for context. Out of high school, I didn't know exactly what path to take, but I did know that I wanted to work with pregnant women or postpartum. I considered ultra sound technician, but ultimately settled on nursing due to some pressures I felt around me at the time. Nursing never felt 100 percent aligned for me, but I used to ignore my intuition most of the time. So I completed my bachelors in nursing, only enjoying the courses mentioning women's health and birth. There was no question that I'd pursue the birth world as my career. I worked several years as a postpartum RN in hospitals, then at a community women's health clinic, and then finally my dream job at an all natural birth center with wonderful midwives. All the while, I was having my own birth and breastfeeding experiences. I had two baby girls two years apart (of course I had only girls). I struggled with working postpartum and pumping and worked my ass off to maintain milk supply. I was also, as mentioned above, coming to terms with the fact I could no longer continue on the Christian path that I had been on, largely due to the nature in which women and LGBTQ+ folks were regarded. I write all this to say that the treatment of women in our culture has been at the forefront of many of my experiences. And I, like so many beautiful souls, found strength and meaning in my ever increasing feminist beliefs. I wanted to "fight like a girl." All of these affairs, professional and personal pointed to my deeper purpose. Feminism? Yes, I'll be a strong, hard working, persistent feminist! SMASH THE PATRIARCHY.

BUT, because life is ever-evolving, a truer and more profound purpose began to bud, pushing through the soil of my life like a tiny sprout. Feminism is only the immature infant of the real deal. Divine Feminine. Divine Masculine. Balance. I want to be clear that feminism has done its job beautifully and I have nothing but gratitude for the rights it has achieved for us. But to graduate from feminism to the divine balance of yin and yang is the next step of human evolution and the awakening to our true nature.

Feminism operates under the same blueprint as the patriarchy.

What patriarchy is not is an assumption that all men are "bad" and all the problems are to the fault of the male gender. What patriarchy is is a tradition that infiltrates every system and institution in our culture. It's a set of cultural standards that enslaves the majority, regardless of gender identification. Patriarchy is an umbrella over other awful things like capitalism, colonization, and racism. The core principles are: control, overworking, out-competing, domination, power, and violence. Examining any institution can demonstrate this insidious foundation of patriarchy. Take for example, a hospital. Experientially, hospitals are filled with staff that are severely overworked, to the point of proven hazardous conditions. Hostility is common in doctor-patient relationships. Medical care costs are absurd and inhumane, all so that a few top dogs can remain in power. Another example is farming. Farms are routinely spraying poison on crops that we all eat, poisons that are known carcinogens. Animals are forced into violent and poor conditions, all to maximize production and minimize costs. I won't detail any more examples, but the standard applies all across the board if you look a little closer.

What feminism is doing is asking, begging, to be a part of that system. Feminists are standing up and asking to be included in the hazardous conditions, the cancer creating, the climate wrecking, the step-on-each-other-to-make-it-to-the-top, culture of ours. Another key here is that patriarchy moves by the vehicle of violence. The avenue that feminism has chosen to take, certainly by necessity (in the past), is in large, also violence. The spirit of the feminists movements are typically the spirit of 'fight.' We will fight for our rights. And believe me, the rights that are being fought for are valid as hell (cough cough, abortion). But I know, from deep within my soul, as long as you bring an energy of war to something, war will sustain itself forever. Aggression towards the "other" gives them the ground to stand on. There is an obvious reason that 'fighting fire with fire' doesn't put out the fire. You cannot expect systems to change if the changes you're pushing for are born from the same matter of the original systems. A brand new system, culture, even world are possible, but require new approaches.

Equality is a myth.

Equality, in terms of basic rights to safety, respect, and autonomy is a given. We need that for a functioning society. Equality between men and women does become nuanced in other areas, though. The physiological experience of women is a big deal. Feminism appears to be blind to the cyclical nature of women. The detour that the culture takes around mensuration, birth, breastfeeding, and menopause is a huge blunder. The wisdom we would attain from paying attention to the body, to birth and to mothering could save our planet. Instead of all conforming into the one way that men typically operate, which is fairly consistent work ethic, we could remember how our bodies went through monthly cycles. We could remember how to rest, how to nurture ourselves. We could reconnect with the essence of life. We know that claiming to be colorblind, as in seeing no difference between races in attempt to combat racism, is in fact very unhelpful. It should be no different with gender. Every gender has a beautiful offering that should be truly seen and honored. Every individual has a deep well of cultural and gender-influenced attributes that are lost when we try to force all into a singular way of operating. For me, mutual respect and celebration of each other is a more enlightened version of equality.

Balance of the energies is the ultimate resolution.

By far the most important concept here is that masculine and feminine energy must shift into a balanced state in order to shift patriarchy into harmony. For our society (the economy, the climate, the culture, the leadership, and so on) to heal, we have to stop pushing and start receiving. Even if legal protections and policy change reflect feminist values, women and mothers will remain undervalued in this current system. The imbalance of masculine and feminine is manifested as restriction on our freedom, our time, burnout and disease. Before I go further into the different energy types, let me clarify that your gender has nothing to do with the energy type you relate to more. If you want, you can call masculine the sun energy or the yang and feminine the moon or the yin. Anyone can embody either. Masculine energy is magnificent. It's the inner call for innovation, the desire to work hard, and protect and provide. It's the ambition and knowledge expansion. The feminine is cyclical. It's rest and intuition. It's connecting with the earth and life. It's patient and grounded. As of now, the masculine is the solitary accepted way of handling business. That means this energy is being vastly taken advantage of without its counterpart to balance it. Feminism falls short of seeking true balance. In a balanced society, I believe people would have the opportunity to honor their own individual rhythm, to genuinely rest between periods of production. I think unrelenting respect towards bodies and mother nature would be entrenched in our cultural make-up. I believe communities would take care of each other. Ultimately, a world in which the offerings of each energy were regarded as equally valuable and honored, is a world that has evolved to a greater consciousness.

I want to be clear that I am not interested in dragging the concept of feminism through the mud. I thank it for a job well done. I just want to challenge us, as a critically thinking collective, to problem solve beyond our current circumstances. You and I both know that our present-day reality is unsustainable in every way. If there has ever been a time to admit we've outgrown the known ways of activism and explore seemingly implausible ideas, it's now. If anything, I urge you to open your mind to the wisdom that transpires when one decides to step into the unknown, when we graduate from one lifestyle to a completely different state of being. May we look beyond the loss of the familiar to see a peaceful, balanced, thriving, and harmonious future.