Vagina Is Not a Bad Word

Society has molded us into creatures afraid of speaking openly about our bodies. This is especially true for women. There is a sense of shame or embarrassment when talking about women's bodies and naming specific parts accurately. When I started doing research for this article, one of the often "suggested questions" in Google was "what should I call my daughter's private parts?"

I was reminded of this shame when I picked my daughter up from school the other day. She is two-and-a-half-years-old. We discussed the general happenings of the day and her teacher began to tell me about a diaper change, "her…uh…private parts," she further explains. Right.

Now, before you get on me about teachers and how hard their jobs are and "she was probably just being respectful" and so on and so on. I'm not putting this on her teacher. This is not her fault. This is our fault - our collective fault. We have been shamed into using slang words for common anatomy. Instead of calling a vagina a vagina, we call it a "peach," "flower," or "hoo-ha."

Why does this matter?

Sure, maybe this isn't as big of a deal as I'm making it out to be. As adults, we are used to it. The shame is already indoctrinated. It's too late for us. For our children, however, for my children, I will keep them free from body shame for as long as I can. Society will provide enough of that for them - they don't need any help from me.

Shame in the name (literally)

A medical student, interviewed in The New York Times, found knowledge in looking up the Latin term for a body part because the term logically corresponded with its function¹. One day she looked up the term for the pudendal nerve, which provides sensation to the vagina and the vulva¹. The term she found was derived from the Latin verb pudere, which means "to be ashamed¹."

Let that sink in. The shame nerve. Nice. The medical student shared my sentiment.

There's more. Next, the medical student learned of the Latin term for vulva¹. This was also horrifying. The Latin term is pudendum, which means "the part to be ashamed of¹."

Are we seeing a pattern here, people?

How far back does this go?

A brief search for the language of medicine took me all the way back to the year 1478². You heard me, 1478. The thing I don't know (yet) is if whether any of the medical language has changed since then (my husband is a medical student, should I ask him?). When was it, in fact, decided that women had a nerve we should be ashamed of? My guess is as far back as the language goes. We already know, as shown in the aforementioned article, it continues today. Well, minus one: anatomists no longer use "pudendum¹," the "part to be ashamed of."

Well, that's a relief.

So what can we do about this?

There are several things. Here are two:

If you have kids

Talk to your kids about their body parts. My oldest daughter became curious around one-year-old (give or take, since I can't remember anything after having her). She is still curious at two-and-a-half. She asks questions and wants to learn about her body. We use anatomically correct terms. If she wants to go to school and talk about her labia, so be it. It should be the same as talking about her elbow. Inevitably, she will one day be told not to say "those words." I can only hope we have packed her with enough punch to know that is just one person's opinion, and to come home and ask us about it.

If you don't have kids

Start calling your body parts what they are. Start learning about them. When I was a group counselor, a woman I worked with didn't know which area her urine came out of, thinking it was the vagina (it's the urethral opening²). There are lots of parts down there, friends, start learning. Talk to your friends using the anatomical terms. It will become more empowering than uncomfortable, I promise. Say "vagina" in front of your dad a couple times. That should do it.

One last thought

Why is it, in America, we have penises drawn on every corner in every city, yet we can't say the word vagina? It just gets curiouser and curiouser.

- Alicia Lee Colasurdo, 2021

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References

1. Gross, R. E. (2021, September 21). Taking the 'Shame Part' Out of Female Anatomy. The New York Times. Retrieved November 29, 2021, from https://www.nytimes.com/2021/09/21/science/pudendum-women-anatomy.html
2. Wulff H. R. (2004). The language of medicine. Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine, 97(4), 187–188. https://doi.org/10.1258/jrsm.97.4.187

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P.S. If you want to learn about those extra cool parts (they really are amazing!), click here.

Note: This story was originally published on a different platform.