This Woman's History Included...

I have been working for a paycheck since 1975. (Yes- I sold Avon while in high school to buy my yearbook, class ring, and St. Vincent DePaul blue jeans. [sub parenthetical statement: those jeans weren't designer. SVdP was what now would classify as 'thrift shopping'])

Besides Avon I have been:

• a summer missionary for vacation Bible schools ($45 a week honorarium paid for my school clothes in jr. and sr. years)
• telemarketer for a magazine clearinghouse (read about that here)
• worked as dishwasher/cashier/vending machine hostess/line cook for a department store employee cafeteria
• was the cashier in finance accepting and accounting for all monies in a college
• worked a butcher's case and deli in a family-run specialty grocery
• bookseller, event coordinator, manager, trainer, corporate manager for Waldenbooks/Borders
• furniture and mattress salesperson, sales leader, corporate communications, and head of operations for two companies
• consultant on operations and change management
• writer for Vocal and Medium
• non-profit communication, project management, and program manager

Here are Some Things I've Been Told

• "This is our little mama."- as an introduction to the corporate auditor that would review my work.
• "You've earned a promotion, but you're perfectly placed for the good of the company right where you are."
• "We already have too many women managers, we don't need another right now."
• "The management team is going to provide breakfast. We've already assigned you to purchase and cook the food."
• "We would have told you about the number of closing stores but we didn't want to see you cry about them."
• "Keep a pair of high heels under your desk in case you need to go to the Executive floor; the Chairman expects women to wear them."
• "Let's get the meeting started; you'll take the notes of course." (I was the ranking person in the room.)
• "Can you slow it down a little? It's making the guys look bad."
• "There's an updated schedule posted. Corporate didn't realize it was the opening day of fishing. You're working tomorrow now."
• "This is a fashion industry. My wife can suggest makeup tips for you."
• "We're not used to having women at these meetings, excuse us if things get uncomfortable."
• "Write it up and send it to me; I'll forward it to the consultants."
• "You should have just quit; there were men let go because there wasn't a store opening. They need to support their families."- after a company downsizing, when I accepted a demotion. I also had a family to support.
• "Make sure you aren't hiring them because they're a woman. Like you. We really need the best person for the job."
• "That'll work. Where'd you get it from?" (It was mine. My idea.)
• "Smile. We need to know you love your job." (The company was shedding employees and cash like a maple tree in Autumn.)

There were many, many, many more comments in my work life, and just as many in my personal life. These in particular stand out for me:

• "Of course, we'll need to have your husband sign off on the tubal ligation. Since you only have two daughters and this means he won't have a son." 1986
• "We'll make it work with your monthly payment, so it doesn't matter what the sale price is. Let's call your husband." I was buying a car, based on my credit alone, that I would pay for with my salary, knowing our marriage was dissolving. 2001
• "This model is only $150 more, and that's a small price to pay for cleaner clothes that let people know you care about your family, isn't it?" The washer had a 'hot rinse' option. 1995
• "Examine yourself. My wife has repented of wearing pajamas to bed over nightgowns. This is a serious sin." 1998
• "So sorry you lost the baby. Seek out the sin in your life so that God will allow you to give your husband a second child." 1984, over the phone as I was in the hospital after a miscarriage.

These comments are part of my history as a woman. I am 64 years old. Current bills and suggestions in this administration now have me seeking a passport to prove my identity.

Because I changed my name when I married, both times that I married, my name no longer matches my birth certificate. The suggested changes would require that my current and birth name are the same in order to vote.

(For this reason cis-women are now understanding the hell that transgender men and women have navigated for years. That is another post, but it must be said here, too.)

So that I can vote. So that I can use my voice. So that I am seen as a person, not an accessory.

I am woman. Hear me roar.