The Shame of Shaming

The last thing I want to do is try and make what is going on in the world about me... trust me, I wish it had nothing to do with me, but low and behold, I am a woman, so it does, and I simply cannot hold it in any longer.

Everything just feels so out of reach.

It's as if we can all see that the world is on fire, and we are all upset by it, but it's too late and there is nothing we can do except run around screaming, and watch it burn down into ashes.

My story is a “lighter” version of what millions of women have had to go through, but I need to get it out so I can carry on with my day without this hard lump sitting in the depth of my throat, edging into my belly.

I had an abortion just after my 16th birthday, two years after my first period.

I made a vow, with myself, to stop playing with barbie dolls when I got my first period because I was embarrassed that I still did. As if being a teenager wasn’t hard enough, imagine everyone finding out you still played with dolls in high school, then times that by a thousand and that’s how you feel when you have the weight of society judging you terminating a teenage pregnancy.

When I found out I was pregnant I was still getting used to even having a monthly cycle, and if I’m honest, I completely forgot about it until it was almost too late to get an abortion. However, the moment I took the pregnancy test and it came up positive I knew immediately what my decision was going to be.

I was so young, physically, emotionally, and mentally and not to mention … I was still living at home, and being cared for by my own family, hell, I was still grieving over my barbie dolls.

I remember telling my mum, and, to no surprise, she was so supportive. She told me that no matter what I decided she would be there for me. Luckily for me, the person I fell pregnant with was exactly the same, and knew that it was ultimately my decision. Imagine that?! A 17 year old boy in 2006 knowing that it was my body, my choice.

I didn’t tell my dad, and maybe subconsciously that came down to the fact that he fit the mould of the men running the world, a white, middle aged, male. He knows now, and the only thing he was upset about was me keeping a secret from him for all these years.

It didn’t take long until everyone at school found out the "juicy goss". This resulted in me dropping out of year 11, and moving to the city on my own to start fresh.

I knew that having a baby at sixteen would change everything, but what I did not take into consideration was that even the decision, MY DECISION, would have such a heavy impact on my life. Let's not get this twisted though... It was not the act of the abortion itself, which obviously was not a pleasurable experience, yet one that I was strong enough to cope with... no, funnily enough, it was because of the (unwanted) opinions and (unwelcome) judgment from others who have no clue what they are talking about that made it so hard for me to carry on living my life normally as a sixteen year old girl. Read that again.

So, how about we figure out what the REAL problem is?

Stigma, judgment, abuse, religion, opinions, education, and placing power in the wrong hands.

The thing is, everyone has their own reactions, and beliefs, which goes for anything we do in life, and you are entitled to it, just don’t force it on others when it is none of your business or concern.

My story was about a choice I made because of timing, well-being, and the well-being of the child I was choosing not to have, and to this day I do not regret it, but let’s make no mistake that it was an easy one to go through either, but maybe, just maybe, let's put aside room for some real empathy towards that.

My story is my own, but it is not rare.

Bringing a life into this world is not a decision that should be taken lightly, however, it should be a decision that the woman is to make.

And the only people in this world who should feel shame are the ones that have put these rules in place, and have neglected the actual issues going on in the world. The real shame is for the ones who use their power to destroy innocent people’s lives, and yet, the worst part of it all, is that they are the people who feel nothing.

Passed on generational trauma needs to end here, and unfortunately banning abortion will only help reproduce human’s like this.

Enough is enough.

We are ALL born into this world innocent, but it is how we treat one another that determines the person that we become.

If you do decide to have children then raise your children with love and respect so that their future doesn’t look like this.

Let’s normalise decent human-beings running the world from now on.