The Gift Durga Ma Gave Me on Noh Ratri

On the first day of Noh Ratri, I requested in my morning prayer to feel Durga Ma's energy. I wanted to know what the Durga aspect of Shakti (the Hindi and Sanskrit word for universal feminine energy, and the Hindi word for power) is, like what she feels like, and what exactly she represents.

Noh Ratri is the Hindu celebration of the Goddess. Durga Ma (Ma is one of many Hindu expressions for mother and is typically suffixed to Goddess’ names) is a form of the universal feminine energy. Noh Ratri literally translates to nine nights, which represents nine aspects (Goddesses in their own right) of Durga.

Lakshmi Ma and Saraswati Ma are Hindu Goddesses and aspects of the universal feminine energy. Lakshmi Ma represents all that which pertains to finances. If one is looking to be selected for a job position or in need of money, they offer prayers to Lakshmi Ma.

Saraswati Ma represents all that which pertains to speech and education. If one desires the gift of gab or to ace an exam, they offer prayers to Saraswati Ma.

Durga Ma’s energy, or what exactly she represents, has always been a bit ambiguous to me. What do I pray for to Durga Ma? She is fierce, confident, independent, and intelligent. Her chariot is a tiger. I wanted to feel her energy in hopes of grasping an understanding of her. I wanted to know the ancient wisdom of Durga Ma, which was probably locked away somewhere within me since I am part of the universal feminine energy.

During Kajari Teej, a Hindu celebration of Parwati Ma for women, I invited Parwati Ma to come through in my meditation. Parwati Ma is the human embodiment of Shakti, as are all women. She is all of the Goddesses personified. She reminds us womenfolk that we too are all of the Goddesses. You can read about that experience by clicking the story below.

During my meditations throughout Noh Ratri, I put forth the intention that I wanted to feel Durga, and I chanted a Devi (Goddess) mantra. I didn’t feel her. I thought perhaps I should do a fast to get her attention. How silly of me to think she would be at my beck and call.

It wasn’t until the last day of Noh Ratri when I realized I had indeed invoked Durga energy the first day I called upon her. Parwati Ma had shown up as a staggering realization during meditation. Durga energy was something that unlocked within me and seeped imperceptibly into my life.

Writing is my passion. During Noh Ratri, I didn’t want to write. I felt at odds with it. Lately, I have been writing mostly about spirituality on this platform and it takes most of my writing time. I have also been writing fiction, though it has yet to see the light of day. I felt a shift trying to come through, but I didn’t know what. There was resistance, like I was being stopped. I wrote about it, and you can read about it by clicking the story below.

I was drawn to dig deep, pull creativity from within, and let it flow through my fingers while I put pen to paper. I felt like writing poetry, which is weird because I haven’t written poetry for fun since high school. Around that time I began listening to hip hop music, mostly for the lyrics. I appreciate a good rhyme. My passion for writing and the logical part of my brain led me towards more practical pastures. I obtained a journalism degree and wrote articles, while reading fiction novels and dreaming about publishing my own one day.

I sat in front of a fresh page and stared at it until eventually, while suppressing a shrill scream that rattled my brain, I hurled my notebook and pen across the room. I went back to it later chiding myself that frustration is part of the creative process. I was awakening something that had lain dormant for a long time, there’s bound to be some push back.

On the last day of Noh Ratri, I wrote all day. I was in the zone, in flow state. I haven’t written like that in a very long time. There were many times in life when I yearned to, but I always appeased it with writing articles.

I ended up with something that has a rhyme scheme. It’s far from finished. The process has been frustrating, so much so that even though I want to keep going back to that creative zone, I avoid it with procrastination. The thought that I’m wasting my time runs on a loop in my head. Sigh. Perhaps I should just trust the process and be open to whatever comes out of it.

I also baked a lot throughout Noh Ratri. I enjoy baking once in awhile, but during Noh Ratri I wanted to eat a freshly baked something every morning. I’d come home from the gym and make bread, or muffins, or cookies and ate them while they were still warm from the oven. I thought the colder weather and the exercising is making my body is crave heartier meals, but now I think it’s Durga energy. I didn’t follow recipes, except for the bread.

Durga energy is creation. Brahma (the Hindu God who is the creator within the tri-murti) was unable to create the universe without the creative force of the universal feminine energy.

Letting the mind and heart guide the hand and trusting the process is how creativity has played out for centuries. People went through the process of creation until they found something that worked or that they liked. Some may have found the process healing.

Since the advent of large-scale communication, like the printing press and the internet, the number of humans tapping into their raw creative energy has been declining.

That energy feels too good to not have it flow through me as frequently as possible, and I'm eternally thankful to have been reacquainted with it.