relationships
Trace the link between feminism and relationships from outdated norms to modern conventions including chivalry, working mothers, splitting the bill and beyond.
Nightmare on Narc Street!
I have been the victim of narcissistic abuse my whole life in various forms: parent, partner, and even friends! This is the story of how I got played by an instrumentalist of the highest order and my seemingly amazing ability to attract such beasts!
By Sarah Warrington8 years ago in Viva
The One Who Abused...
Every story begins with happy, rejoicing moments. With relationships, you start something new thinking this is the best thing to ever happen, thinking you know your partner, but in reality, every human being has their demons. Not knowing who your partner fully or truly is can be dangerous. When relationships start, it seems like it is a honeymoon phase for the first couple of months, meaning that everything seems perfect and nothing bad is ever going to happen to either of you. Until everything comes crashing down all at once.
By Samie Olson8 years ago in Viva
Overcoming Domestic Violence
Dealing with domestic violence for over a decade without any support system is one of the hardest things in life I've ever had to go through. I have dealt with mental, verbal and physical abuse, which has resulted in me being diagnosed with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). I have also suffered with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember along with extremely low self esteem. I have only been in two relationships and to both men I was married to and had children with. I married my first husband when I was only 18 years old; we had two children and he was five years older than me. I can't remember exactly when the abuse started, but I remember telling my father about the abuse and his response was, "Well, what did you do to make him put his hands on you?" Now mind you, my father was never there for me and even to this day I don't have a relationship with him. Why I expected him to protect me, especially with him being an absentee father is beyond me, but I will never forget the way that statement made me feel. A few years later I finally got the nerve to leave my first husband. The final straw was finding out he had cheated on me with a married woman and he had been using cocaine. In the December of that same year, I was offered a job in North Carolina. It was the fresh start that I needed, but a part of me still wanted my family back. I called him and invited him to come to with me so we could try to work things out and he agreed. We had been in North Carolina for two weeks and he ended up beating me up in front of our children, blacked my eye and left me with a huge knot on my head.
By Lynette Sheree8 years ago in Viva
The First Time
His hands around my throat, gasping, scratching, pushing at him but, I couldn't get away. I could hear my daughter crying. Too young to understand but, she knew he was hurting me. When did it get this bad, why did I keep allowing it to happen? I am smarter than this. It wasn't always like this. We use to be semi happy. Two small children, a marriage, a life I thought would be mine. Was I ever good enough?
By Aleea Whitmire8 years ago in Viva
My Experience With Sexual Harassment: A Message to the Fearful
He asked me at least once every shift if I wanted to go out with him. No. I did not. First of all, I was dating at the time, second of all, I was just plain not interested in this flirtatious boy I worked with three times a week but knew next to nothing about. But, and here's a phrase I'm sure you wish you could just stop hearing, he wouldn't take no for an answer.
By Lucy Sammons8 years ago in Viva
An Open Letter to a Victim of Abuse
The word abuse is a very serious one and is not to be taken lightly. It usually takes an awful lot of courage to use it. Abuse is when a person repeatedly/regularly mistreats you. It is cruel, and can often involve manipulation, control, blackmail, etc. It is a misuse of power and ill treatment of a persons vulnerability. Often, the person being abused will end up feeling as though they are worthless, overreacting, stuck, and like there is nothing they can do. It is like you are the only one with a problem, and it is easy to fall into the trap of believing that you are the problem.
By Rebecca McPhillips8 years ago in Viva
A Minor Incident Can Ruin a Lot
I learned from this experience and to all the ones who have gone through this, you do not have to face it alone. Just around this time last year, I decided to visit my boyfriend at the time, as for he was leaving to basic training for the military in a week. Little did I know he was going to do something so horrid.
By Elieza Pereira8 years ago in Viva
Me Too
You are told through scrolling videos on Facebook that automatically play while you sit in the bathroom at work “taking a shit,” but your pants are still up, buckled, and zipped, that if you have been cat called while walking home from a bar that you should be part of the “me too” movement, and you feel obligated to give your statement because what girl hasn’t been walking in the dead winter of Michigan, with her bare legs showing, toes sticking out of the tips of her booties, and nothing but a light jacket on your arms because she didn’t want to get her two hundred dollar down coat stolen when she wanted to dance instead of sitting at the bar and getting hit on and still manage to get a whistle or two from a drunk homeless man on the way back to the car? The snow lightly falling on your face, and it wouldn’t be so bad if the wind would just chill for the five minutes it takes you to walk to your car. But you grew up waking up early on Sundays to put on a dress and some flats to be early to bible quiz so you can practice your speed at the buzzer, answering questions on break point, attend adult service for two hours, and from December through April, you spend your Sundays from 12:30 to at least 6 backstage preparing for play productions, wearing old english costumes, or costumes from the middle east during the time of Jesus’s life while playing James Bond with your friends in the bathroom. We sat in the back rooms of the church putting together skits, human videos, choir practice, using each other as props, bouncing ideas off of each other, and finally finishing with ensemble practice. On Wednesdays, you brought your quarters, signed in, you did your lessons, memorized the bible verses, participated in the projects, and by the time you graduated high school, you had whispered repeatedly underneath your breath all the things that cannot separate you from the Love of God in your sleep, feeling the heat radiating off of the iron barrel every morning as you curled your hair and enunciated each syllable, covered your hand over papers and repeating to the “s” every word on the yellow pages of the twenty point questions.
By Bella Harris8 years ago in Viva
From Weakness Comes Strength: Part Two
If you haven't read my "Part One," certain references used throughout this Part Two will be confused. I suggest reading Part One to understand this part fully. However, a small recap: I was bullied horribly in 8th grade, so much so that I decided I wanted a fresh start somewhere else and chose to go to a catholic high school a few towns over. I lost many friends, stopped eating, and was extremely depressed. Going into high school, I was entirely anxious, but wanted to make a good impression on what would hopefully be new friends and become a happy person again.
By Paranneting/Anne Reboa8 years ago in Viva
