Narcisisstic Relationship

Back in high school, i ran into a boy. I wasn't even remotely interested in him at first, but he messaged, we talked, we met, and somehow the whole thing just kept going, growing into something i didn't fully understand at the time.

Our first date outside of school was supposed to be in a freezing winter day exept i got seriously ill. I told him i'd have to cancel, hoping he would simply understand. Instead, he completely lost it. He said he didn't belive me, that he had already told his mother he was meeting a girl and now this was "so embarrasing" for him. Then he snapped: "Don't contact me. I'm too angry right now". It was dramatic, unecessary, and deeply unsettling. If i had been smarter back then, that would have been the end. But it wasn't.

I always disliked the whole "mommy's little boy" dynamic - and in their case, it was on a level i never seen before, not even in movies. His mother has abandoned him multiple times, left the country, ran off with men... yet he lived in total denial, defending her no matter what, repeatin her excuses as if they were sacred truths. She manipulated him to a degree that felt unreal. They met once every one or two months, slept in the same bed, kissing eachother on lips... and of course, se mocked me behind my back and encouraged him to turn against me. ( Later i found out what i already suspected, yes, that happend between them too ).

Over the course of two years, he broke up with me five times, always blaming it on his mother's so-called "massage from the god's", claiming that they told her i meant harm to them, exept one time, when he said he found ot that he like boys, so he want to be in a relationship with another boy. Then after two weeks he called me and said he changed his mind and he like girl's again. It was absurd, and yet i was still so emotionally exhausted and confused to walk away.

He hurt me phisically multiple times - on top of the constans verbal and emotional abuse. His rage always felt sudden, unpredictible, and frightening, as if he became a different person in an instant. There are lot's of things, i'm not even sure i can describe here, things i still struggle to visit, even in my own mind.

During those two years, i enden up in hospital three times. He visited me everyday just to make sure what did a said to the nurses and the therapist, making sure his version of the story stayed intact.

I was never actually in love with him. He still dosen't know that. I never told him, who knows what he would have done. What kept me there wasn't love: it was the leftover attachment issues from a previously realtionship. Somewhere deep down i knew this wasn't love. I just needed time to understand what was happening inside me, how much trauma i was still carrying and how vulnerable that made me. Eventually, i burned out completly. After two years of suffering, once i finished school, i quetly said goodbye and dissapear from their life. No explanations. No confontation. Just silenece - the one thing he couldn't control.

Not long after, i found real love, the kind i would never belive it's exist. A relationship that is safe, warm, steady, full of laughter. A boy who actually has feelings and shows the for me, cares me. Someone who loves me, not controls me. Someone who brings peace instead of fear.

Looking back, all i can say is: it's important to pay attention to who gives and who only takes. I can only hope he won't do this to more girls although hope feels like a fregile thing when it comes to people like him.

I have grown so much since then. It sharpened my instincts, taught me to recognise people like him instantly. I tightened my circle of trust, and it changed my life for the better. Healing wasn't quick, but it was worth every step.

If i can give one piece of advice to anyone reading this anyone who might be in a similar situation, it is this: Leave quietly. Slip away without drama. That's what hurts them the most and what keeps you safest.